It's One of the Hardest Things
by Three-Steps-Ahead
Summary: "She left Konoha. She left you. What makes you think anything she's said is the truth?" Kakashi never meant to fall in love with her. That was his first mistake. The second was letting her go. A woman of her particular skill set left a trail of broken hearts in her wake, and he was no exception. Seven years later, he could only hope that much had changed about her.
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

 _"Set it down more carefully, Tanak."_

 _She glowered at the older woman, picking the porcelain teapot back up and placing it in the middle of the table slower than she had before. Top off, she watched the dark green water slosh, which earned a disapproving 'tsk'. Clenching then unclenching her fists, she took a deep breath and cradled the pot back into her hands, lifting it just above the table and back towards her chest. She steadied her breathing, waiting for the water to still before trying, once again, to set it on the metal trivet of intersecting vines and leaves. Sweat formed at the edge of her hairline. She breathed relief. The tea didn't ripple._

 _"Much better."_

 _Tanak smiled, staring at her palms, "It's difficult to control my chakra and steady the water…"_

 _Chiasa patted her on the head, "You're starting young. In a few years, this will be child's play."_

 _"In a few years I'll be even prettier." Tanak tossed her ivory hair over her shoulder, "And then you can teach me about flirting-"_

 _"You're getting ahead of yourself." She stared down at the little girl, no more than six years old, "And where did you get such an idea?"_

 _Tanak shrugged, "There was a book in your drawer."_

 _"You shouldn't snoop through other peoples' belongings." Chiasa sighed, "You can concern yourself with those techniques when you're older."_

 _"How much older?"_

 _"After puberty."_

 _"What if I'm good at it before that?"_

 _Chiasa's brow furrowed, lips pursed, "I hope for your sake that you aren't." Tanak grumbled something under her breath as she stood, trying to stomp off, but her guardian's voice stopped her, "Not so fast. You need to practice your_ koto _playing."_

 _"Why can't I work on ninjutsu instead of that stupid instrument?" Tanak pouted._

 _Chiasa shook her head, "Weren't you the one trying to get ahead in these studies?"_

 _"What does playing an instrument have to do with being a kunoichi?"_

 _Chiasa walked across the room, picking the instrument up and lying it across her lap as she sat on the floor. Beckoning Tanak over, she slid the picks onto her thumb, index, and middle finger on her right hand, "What I am teaching you is an art that most kunoichi don't study. There are very few of us who exist in this sphere of espionage."_

 _"So what exactly is this art?"_

 _Chiasa smiled while plucking a soft song across the_ koto _, fingers sliding back and forth across the thirteen strings. The tune sounded sad like cherry blossoms slowly emptying from a tree in midwinter, petals lost in piles of snow, "It's the art of beauty." Chiasa's fingers plucked higher notes, the beat skipping to sounds of spring awakening, wildflowers blowing in the breeze, birds singing on tree branches, "As women we are told that our gender is a weakness. There are those of us who deny such a claim, and have turned that perceived weakness into a strength."_

 _Tanak was mesmerized by how smoothly her fingers flew across the_ koto _, "How?"_

 _"By using our bodies as our greatest weapons." Chiasa stopped playing, "Whether men admit it, they are drawn to the hidden sexuality inside a woman. They want to be loved and admired, to be told they are the great conquerors of our bodies." Tanak blushed a little, which made Chiasa laugh, "But that is our strength. Men are at their weakest during sex. A woman can glean information from a man lulled by her seductive nature."_

 _Tanak took the_ koto _, setting the picks on her thumb, index, and middle finger. She started playing a simpler tune to warm up, "And I can become masterful at seduction?"_

 _"If you are willing to learn." Chiasa adjusted how her hands hovered over the instrument, "But the first step is learning to seduce without touching a man." She smiled as Tanak's fingers moved more freely across the strings, "Make him desire you as the beautiful, porcelain doll he longs to touch. And when he finally does…" Chiasa paused while watching Tanak close her eyes, lost to her music of a steady beating heart waiting earnestly for its first kiss, "…he will deny you nothing."_


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: A Lie Can Be a Convenient Means to an End**

Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes to memorize the sounds. Birds singing to one another in romantic tunes, calling to end their loneliness. Insects rustling in the tall grasses, shaking the dew from their legs. Wind rustling through the trees, tossing her hair around her shoulders. Sun beating down on her face, glinting off her headband. She remembered it. His voice rasping as he cried out her name. His body hitching as her blade pierced his shoulder. His lips twitching a sad smile as she screamed at him.

And she ran. As long, as hard as she could. Until Konoha was a distant memory.

But it did feel good to be back.

The men at the front gates gave her a once over with leering eyes, either recognizing her name or admiring her abdomen beneath her cropped mesh shirt. She gave them a wink when they assured her 'all was together', leaving them blushing as they checked her team's passports. Stepping into the village, the sights and sounds bombarded her. Things she thought she had escaped. The candied chestnuts' smell from Amaguriama tickled her nose. Beautiful floret arrangements from Yamanaka Flowers tucked behind the ears of passing girls. And glaring down at her the Hokages carved into the mountainside.

She smiled, red lips stretching at the smell coming from her favorite ramen shop – Ramen Ichiraku. Stomach growling, she glanced over her shoulder to see her three genin hesitantly walking into Konohagakure.

"Tanak-sensei!" Taika ran up beside her, "I'm hungry!"

Tanak gestured to the restaurant in front of them, "I promise this will be your favorite place in the entire village."

"That's not saying much." Tanak glanced to her left as another of her genin walked up, hiding her pale face beneath a parasol that cast a purple shadow on the ground. She wore a dissatisfied expression as she looked at where her sensei suggested they eat, "Is there nowhere else?"

"You're just spoiled, Lyoko," Taika retorted.

Lyoko rolled her eyes, "I have a more refined taste in food."

"Round up Tauro and we can grab lunch."

Tanak looked around, laughing with a shake of her head when she saw her last genin using his effortless charm to send passing kunoichi off with a giggle and a blush. Hands on her hips, she shook her head while he continued chasing after any pretty girl that noticed him. When he saw his sensei glaring at him, he apologetically smiled and ran over to them.

"Tanak- sensei, you failed to mention that Konoha littered the streets with beautiful women," he mused.

"I didn't realize a thirteen year old boy would concern himself with girls." She flicked him behind the ear, "But we aren't here for you to find a date."

"I figured it would help pass the time before this chūnin exam."

"You're clearly not meant to rise above the genin rank…" Lyoko drawled.

"What did you say?!"

Tanak tuned out their little spat, closing her eyes. She smelled it, that heady musk that used to suffocate her in their fits of passion. A chill rippled down her spine. His hands tangled in her hair. His hips crushed hers. His breath burned her cheeks. They flooded back. Those restless nights she sought in the arms of other men in hopes to leave him behind. _Seems like you're hard to forget._ Hands clenching into fists, she opened her eyes.

"Tanak?"

Seven years hadn't changed him much, if at all. He hardly seemed a day older, though dressed in looser clothing beneath his flak jacket. She couldn't help wondering if he was as sculpted as he used to be, but shook away the thought of seeing him naked. _Doubt he's let himself go_. And he still insisted on covering his face. Not that she minded. She used to have such pride in being the only one who knew what was underneath.

The look he gave her, dumbfounded and livid, made her heart sink, as if he needed to touch her to know she was real, though punching her would have sufficed.

 _Just like old times._

"Well, well, well…" Lips parting in a cheeky smile as if she could taunt him with the gesture, she set her hands on her hips, "…if it isn't Hatake Kakashi." She twirled a strand of long, ivory white hair around her fingers, "Did you miss me?"

His hands clenched and unclenched in fists. He breathed deeply. His lips pursed. His brows knitted. He gave her a once over, taking in the accentuated curve of her figure hidden beneath tight black pants and a mesh top. He forced a smile, "You look good."

She wrinkled her nose. _Subtle as usual._ Not that she expected him to fall to his knees and worship her. But hadn't he missed her? Or had her words sunk in after all this time? She stepped a little closer to him, a smirk slinking across her lips, "You've hardly changed." She pretended to study him as she circled around, tapping her chin in thought, "Though admittedly your uniform is a bit drab."

"Some of us choose more practical attire." She caught his lingering eye on her bosom, which made her scowl, "Though I suppose your reputation precedes you."

Laughing to brush off the insult, she shrugged while walking over to where her genin stood whispering to each other, "My body is a weapon regardless of how I choose to dress it."

"A weapon in more than one way…" She wasn't sure she heard him correctly. Trying to hide the blush in her cheeks, she watched him jam his hands into his pockets while staring at the ninja band she wore across her forehead, "When did you become a sensei in Amegakure?"

She waved her hand dismissively, "I do believe we're being quite rude!" Her team gave her uneasy stares, "We can reminisce later." She pushed her genin in front of herself, "Meet Oshiro Tauro, Miyata Taika, and Saito Lyoko. Team 14 from Amegakure."

He seemed less than impressed with her subject change but chose to follow suit, "Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke. Team 7 from Konohagakure."

Tanak stared at the black haired boy, a brooding, but handsome genin that reminded her of Kakashi. His eyes were most interesting, shrouded by loneliness and grief, but burning with hatred. There was no mistaking his lineage, "I'm sure they're a formidable team having been trained by you."

"You're not one for genuine flattery."

She rolled her eyes, "I said formidable. That doesn't mean they stack up against _my_ team."

Taika sprinted forward, intercepting the punch aimed for her sensei. Taking the blonde's arm, she flipped him over her back. Tanak tried to hide her laughter, but bellowed at Kakashi's wide eyed gaze.

"Who do you think you are?!" Naruto shouted while picking himself off the ground and pointing at Tanak.

She grinned, eyes flickering gleefully, "It's a long list…"

"Team 7. Meet Kōsetsu Tanak." Kakashi paused, contemplating how to describe her in a few words other than slut, traitor, and bitch, "Ex-ANBU squad member, ex-Konoha jōnin, ex-"

"Girlfriend?" Sakura squeaked.

Tanak's cheeks flushed red and she quickly turned her back in hopes no one noticed. Kakashi cleared his throat several times, his cool demeanor washed from his face. They caught each other's gaze, and for a moment she saw a flicker of that hunger he used to have for her. That ravenous appetite that had them tearing at each other's closed and tumbling against the wall.

He shook his head to regain his composure, "Ex-confidant to the Hokage."

"That's one way to describe me." Tanak rolled her eyes with a dramatic flourish, huffing, "Suppose I should just tell him myself." She held her hand out as a truce, "I am Kōsetsu Tanak. Sensei to Amegakure's Team 14."

Naruto just stared at her hand, crossing his arms over his chest, "You don't look like much."

Tanak smirked, winking at him, "Tits and an ass can be misleading." She patted him on the head before gesturing with her chin for her team to follow her, "Loved catching up, Kakashi!"

Once out of earshot, Tanak breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into the nearest seat at the ramen shop. She was midway through ordering food when her team surrounded her.

"Could there have been _any_ _more_ sexual tension between you two?" Tauro chirped, bursting from the seams with amusement.

"You _weren't_ just comrades were you?" Taika giggled.

Tanak continued to ignore them, ordering her ramen and shoving as many noodles into her mouth at once. She nearly choked trying to swallow all of it, but it was better than admitting anything.

"Come on, Tanak-sensei!" Tauro grew impatient, "It's obvious you two had a thing."

Lyoko rolled her eyes, stealing the bowl of ramen that Tauro had just ordered, "Calling it a 'thing' sounds juvenile."

Tauro growled in agitation, but became distracted as another bowl of ramen was placed in front of him, "Well, she's not going to tell us what it actually was."

Tanak slammed her hand on the table, silencing them with an icy glare that made them shiver, "It was a childhood infatuation that turned into nothing. Happy now?"

Lyoko stared at her, not buying her sensei's remark, but deciding not to press her about it. Pressing her palms together, she said a quiet prayer before picking up her chopsticks and venturing to take a bite from her ramen. She glanced to her left to watch Tauro slurp every noodle with a smile that could split his cheeks. Swallowing slowly, she admitted to herself that it wasn't as bad as she expected. As she reduced her meal to the chicken broth, she lifted the bowl to her lips and slowly drank the warm liquid, casting glances at Tanak, who kept tapping her chopsticks on the edge of the table while staring off to the left.

. . . .

Konohagakure was the last place he expected to see her. He'd finally convinced himself that she was gone from his life. He had stopped thinking about her! Well, that wasn't entirely true…but he busied himself with his team once he had been dismissed as an ANBU squad leader. That kept the memories at bay. It irritated him to know she was still beautiful and much more aware of that, and he could only imagine how often she used that to her advantage. He used to have pride in being the one she came home to, but just the thought of her brought his blood to boil.

And all she could say was "Did you miss me"? What did she think he had been doing when she turned her back on him? When she disappeared for seven years? She made it hard to forget her. Showing up in Konoha with a different headband and a team of genin, he began to question if it was even the same woman.

"Who'd have known Kakashi-sensei was a babe-magnet?" Naruto said, nudging Sakura, "That lady was a _fox-_ "

"There's got to be more to it than that." Sakura made sure Kakashi was out of earshot, "There was so much tension between them, but Kakashi-sensei looked a little sad…"

"What do you mean?"

"It was when he first saw her." Sasuke kept his voice lowered, interrupting their conversation, "Almost like he didn't believe it."

"I wonder if she broke his heart…?" Sakura muttered.

Naruto shook his head, "There's no way! Kakashi-sensei isn't soft!"

Sakura smacked him upside the head, "Men fall in love too, you idiot!"

"There's probably more to it than just heartbreak…" Sasuke mumbled, though his teammates weren't listening.

"There's one way to find out." Sakura yelled, "Kakashi-sensei!" She skipped up alongside him, sheepishly smiling, "That woman we met. She's not just an old comrade is she?"

He mused to himself for a moment, thinking through his response, "Not exactly…"

"That's so romantic!" Sakura held her hands against her heart, "A forbidden love between shinobi from different villages, reunited after once fighting beside each other in their youth-"

"You're getting ahead of yourself." Kakashi cut her off with a laugh, "It wasn't anything that dramatic. She once lived here and then she left."

"That's _all_ you're going to tell us?" Naruto hung his head in disappointment, "But there was _so much_ tension!"

"But not for the reason you think."

Kakashi decided against telling her anything else. He still needed more information on how she managed to gain residency in Amegakure. Though he had a hunch about it, he found that thought only made him angrier at her. _Wonder who you had to sleep with…?_ Waving a goodbye to his team with instructions to make their decision about the Chūnin Exam, he ascended to the roofs of Konoha, perching so he could overlook the village. He needed to find the Hokage and ask about a course of action. Tanak remained an A-Rank shinobi and by all technicalities a _nukenin_ , but he had made the mistake of not finding her when she left.

 _Sitting back on his legs, he tried ignoring his throbbing ribcage. His shoulder's oozing wound. His exhausted chakra stores. What energy remained was focused on trying to stay upright before the Hokage's desk. But every muscle shook, every bone rattled. His head pounded as he tried to piece together what had happened. Disbelief ate at him like vultures on a rotting corpse. Nothing he said to her, no confession, no apology convinced her to stay._

 _She had taken so much from him. Head bowed before the Hokage, he couldn't even find the energy to cry. He just stared absently at the floor, awaiting instruction. Or question. Or comfort._

 _"Where is she headed?"_

 _He clenched his hands into fists, resting them on his thighs in an effort to hold himself together as his shaking body threatened to send him face first into the floor, "I don't know."_

 _"Why did she leave?"_

 _He breathed in deeply, trying to control his erratic heartbeat, "I don't know."_

 _"What does she intend to do-?"_

 _"I don't know!" His voice broke. He pursed his lips, shaking his head, "She wouldn't tell me anything."_

 _The Sandaime Hokage shook his head, sighing heavily while peering at him from his desk, "She's a dangerous shinobi. With her intentions unclear, we will need to track her down-"_

 _"Please, no!" Kakashi struggled to his feet, swaying unsteadily while clutching his shoulder. Blood, wet and warm, seeped between his fingers, "I know Tanak, she doesn't have any designs against Konoha."_

 _"How can you be certain of that?" Hiruzen stared at him, knowing full well the degree in which Kakashi knew Tanak. He could feel the pain in the young man radiate through the room, the anger in his eyes begging for an answer that didn't mean killing her, "She left Konoha. She left you. What makes you think anything she's said up to this point is the truth?"_

 _Kakashi could feel them burning in his eyes, tears pushing at the corners until he forced himself to turn around. Wiping them away furiously, he sniffled a couple times. He didn't want to believe what she said hours ago, her denouncement of any form of affection between them. It was only an act to make leaving easier, but it all came crashing down on his shoulders. Maybe she did mean it, maybe that was her way of telling him she was about to do something she would regret? He glanced over his shoulder, "If you want to track her down, then I request you let me do it. There's no one in Konoha who knows her better."_

 _"But the order I give may not be one you are willing to carry out." Hiruzen folded his fingers together in thought, "If she won't return willingly to Konoha to face trial, then she must be eliminated."_

 _Kakashi nodded his head, "Give me the chance to speak to her."_

 _"What closure would that give you?"_

 _Starting to walk towards the door, a faint smile crept onto his lips, "I'll just know if she meant it all."_

 _"And if she did?"_

 _"Then I will be the one to kill her."_

He thought he had searched for her with every skill he possessed. But maybe somewhere in his youth, he didn't want to carry out his promise to kill her? He just wanted to believe she left with no malicious plans against Konoha. To see her again, affiliated with another village… He worried that he had overlooked something.

Grimacing, he decided to visit the Hokage and ask for a course of action. She had never made a move against Konoha, and he wondered if she was even listed in the Bingo Books. But as he started moving across the rooftops, he saw something below. Stopping, he stifled a laugh at the woman with long, ivory hair that glimmered like a polished pearl sitting on a cloth of silk. He had to admit, he liked the color pink on her, but only the soft pink that reminded him of cherry blossoms in the winter. As she drew a parasol above her head, he figured the Hokage could wait while he followed her.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:** **Rust From the Blade**

She glanced over her shoulder once more as she turned down the road. Closing her parasol, she let the setting sun wash over her face, swirls of purple, orange, and yellow painting the sky, illuminating her silk kimono. Down the road, she saw the farthest house on the left, and began making her way towards it. She remembered the slow walk she every time she came back from a day at the academy or from a mission. She was never in a rush to walk into the house because no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, Konohagakure wasn't home.

Taking each step to the _genkan_ carefully, she couldn't help smiling at the same doormat that she'd stomped her feet on for almost fifteen years. The brown and pink color had faded to dismal near grey shades, the image of a cherry blossom tree almost gone. She shuffled her feet on it, out of habit, before knocking on the wooden frame of the sliding door. She waited while glancing left and right to see if anyone was moving from inside. She was startled by the paper screen of the door crunching as it opened.

"Can I help you?"

Tanak's brow furrowed as she stared at the girl in front of her. Short brown hair, beady green eyes, and an unsure smile. Offering her a bow of her head as a greeting, she leaned her parasol against the side of the house, "My name is Tanak. I used to live here with the old-"

"Who's at the door, Michiko-chan?!"

Tanak covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. Stepping inside the house as Michiko disappeared into the living room, she slid the door closed behind herself and removed her sandals, "Forgotten me already, you old hag?!"

"You're still a little sass mouth brat!" Tanak could hear her cackling from the other room as she rounded the corner. But her smile left her when she saw that old woman sitting on a cushion on the floor with a cloth tied around her eyes, "Your manners are worse than when you left!" The old woman gestured with her bamboo cane for Tanak to sit down across from her, "But it's good to see you."

"Near as I can tell, you can't see anything, Chiasa-san." Sitting down on a red cushion, she reached for the porcelain teapot on the table, "When did that happen?"

She began pouring herself a cup until the bamboo cane came crashing down on her head, ringing her skull. She nearly broke the teapot as she let it go, bringing her hands to her hairline to see if any blood was there. Glaring at the wrinkled woman, she snapped, "What was that for?!"

"Forgetting your manners with your elders!" Chiasa clicked her tongue until Tanak grudgingly poured her a cup and slid it over to her. Taking one of Chiasa's hands that felt like worn leather beneath hers, Tanak guided her to the warm cup, "That's much better, _Shinju_."

Seven years away and the hag still called her by that name. Whether she meant it to or not, it made Tanak feel beautiful, soft and young, untouched and loved.

"Are you going to tell me how you went blind?" Tanak mumbled while bringing her own teacup to her lips.

"I'm old! Or did you fail to notice?" Tanak rolled her eyes as the old woman cackled with laughter, "My sight started deteriorating around the time you left. I suppose the gods decided I didn't need it anymore. Didn't have you to keep an eye on!"

Tanak circled her finger around the rim of her teacup, watching Michiko exit the room and head into the kitchen, "So they've assigned a medical-nin to take care of you?"

"It would have been your job if you hadn't run away." Chiasa shakily set her cup onto the table, "So tell me. What have you done in seven years?"

"Explored the countryside." Tanak wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell her, "I needed closure. I wanted to make a name for myself like I did in Konoha." She gripped her teacup tighter in her hands, "But one mistake and they disowned me."

The old woman smacked her lips together, "Killing is a beautiful art, but what you did was a massacre-"

"It wasn't that many people." She paused while trying to think of the number from that night, but it made her stomach drop. Perhaps she had gotten out of control? Scowling into her next sip of tea, she remembered standing in front of the Hokage, the elected officials, and the ANBU members of her squadron while her crime was read out. A couple of her teammates defended her, but it was Kakashi's silence that stung more than her punishment. He leaned against the wall with his eyes on the floor, an unspoken disappointment lingering on his face. She pushed his memory to the back of her mind to keep herself from crying, "I chose to leave. I managed to get citizenship in Amegakure, though I lived under constant surveillance for months. And I'm back in Konoha with a team of genin entering the Chūnin Exam."

"A sensei, huh?" Chiasa turned her head as Michiko came back in with a tray of _daifuku_ that's smell caught her attention, "I didn't take you for one to tolerate children."

Tanak popped one of the pink colored mochi into her mouth, chewing quickly so she could reply, "I actually enjoy working with them. I could bring them to meet you if you weren't so _unpleasant_."

"It's the closest I'd get to grandchildren from you!" Tanak buried her face in her hands while the hag's laughter screeched in her ears, but she was distracted as Chiasa began coughing violently. Her chest heaved and she reeled in her seat until Michiko caught her and brought a handkerchief to her mouth. Spotting the slightest bit of blood, Tanak chose to remain quiet as the old woman collected herself. Face turned to Tanak's, she began speaking in a raspier voice, "Had you stayed with that young man you would be plump with a child by now."

Tanak rolled her eyes, "We weren't that serious-"

"Cut the bullshit." Tanak sat up straighter, reminded of the other hundred times she was told that from her matronly guardian. Chiasa shooed away Michiko's hand as she searched the table for her teacup, finding it and taking a quick sip to subdue an oncoming cough, "That boy was smitten with you."

"As were most the boys in this village…" Tanak drawled.

Chiasa smacked her on the head again with her cane, prompting another how of pain, "If you've hurt that boy, I'll beat you black and blue!"

"You don't know anything!" Tanak slammed her hand on the table, tea sloshing over the side of her cup, "We fooled around as anyone our age would. It didn't mean anything."

She pursed her lips, brow furrowing as she thought about how protective he had become, intervening during missions when he assumed she was in trouble. She'd argue with him about his overbearing concern for her, and he'd remark that she didn't care about her team. Or anyone for that matter. That argument would continue until they were shouting about their feelings for each other. And it all would end with a furious clash of lips to shut each other up, hands tearing at clothes, bodies pinning against the other in a battle of dominance. And when she'd wake up in the morning, she'd find herself content that he was soundly asleep beside her.

"Kakashi-san tried to convince you not to leave." Chiasa sighed, sensing Tanak's silent confirmation, "Is it satisfying to know you can break hearts that easily?"

Tanak wiped away the tear that ran down her cheek, thankful the old woman was blind, "It's a choice I have to live with. Nothing I can do about it now."

"Except swallow your pride and apologize."

"We're better off hating each other." Tanak rose to her feet in a fluid motion with her kimono catching the remaining light coming in from the sunset. She bowed to Chiasa, flushed with all the memories of this place being her home and being raised by a callous, but wise woman, "I'm not ready to swallow my pride just yet, but I thank you for your advice, Chiasa-san."

"There's a heart somewhere in your chest." Chiasa's face turned up to Tanak as if she were looking through her, "Try thawing it out sometime."

Closing the sliding door behind herself, she picked up her parasol and opened it, hiding her tear stained face as she walked. She hated that the old woman still had the ability to make her feel so guilty, to make her cry over something she had finally reconciled with.

Wiping away what she hoped were the last of her tears with the back of her hand, she stopped walking down the empty market streets. She released a kunai from her sleeve into her palm, glancing over her shoulder. She dropped her parasol to her side while listening to the footsteps behind her. Her arm sweeping out, she grinned as her wrist was caught by a gloved hand.

"How long have you been following me?"

"Not very long." Kakashi twisted her wrist until she dropped the kunai between them. He gave her a little push aside before picking the kunai up, "Hostile as usual."

She grinned, reaching across him to take her knife back, "I do believe you were the one who always reminded me not to let my guard down."

He stretched his arm out as she made a grab for the kunai, "I see you've taken that to heart."

She pressed herself up against his side while dragging her fingers along his shoulder and across his chest. Amused that he seemed interested, a curious look crossing his face, she slid her fingertips down his abdomen, tugging at the loose material of his shirt, just enough to reveal skin. She felt goosebumps following in her wake as she gently brushed over the band of his pants. Catching her mischievous stare, he brought the kunai to her neck.

" _Still_ don't trust me?" she mused, red lips curling into a wicked grin.

"I learned the hard way not to fall for pretty smiles and batted eyelashes."

Tanak leaned closer, lips prickling against his ear, her neck straining beneath the tip of the kunai, "But here you are again." She didn't grimace as a tiny cut opened the skin under her chin, a thin trail of blood sliding down her fair skin, "We _really_ should try meeting under different circumstances."

"But the hostility is nostalgic."

Kakashi stepped back and turned the kunai around, offering the hilt to her. She took it and tucked it back into the arm band beneath her flowing sleeve. As she began walking down the road, he strolled up alongside her with his hands in his pockets.

She pretended to not notice him, something she did when they were at the academy to make him try harder to impress her. She had known he was skilled, but could never give him the satisfaction of praising him. Parasol opened and held over her face, she obscured her features further in the onset of the night sky.

"You look pretty in that shade of pink," Kakashi mumbled.

Tanak shook her head with a laugh, "Compliments are useless."

"I think that's a blush in your cheeks." Just the roll of her eyes frustrated him, and he grabbed her shoulder to stop her in the middle of the street, "Why can't you take a compliment?"

"Because it's not going to change anything between us."

"Who said I wanted to change things?" He scoffed, "You're just a brat. Same as you were seven years ago."

She waved him off, turning on her heel to continue towards the house she was lodged in for the duration of the Chūnin Exam, "I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures regarding my attitude." She cast him a glare from over her shoulder, "I've done just fine on my own."

"It's been that easy for you?" Kakashi clenched his hands into fists, trying to keep his temper at bay. She still had that way about her that set him off, "Not once did you think about what it did to me?"

Closing her parasol, she wheeled on him and swung it as quickly as she could, missing his head by inches, "I don't see you groveling for answers! You've moved on _just fine_ since I left!"

"This was your problem to begin with!" He caught her next attack, drawing a kunai as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her against his chest. Blade tip digging into her throat, feeling how rigid her body went in his hold, he caught himself inhaling that familiar scent of cherry blossoms and honey on her skin. His grip loosened, but not enough to let her escape, "You always wanted me begging and desperate. But I could never trust you enough to be that open with you."

Sensing his guard relaxed, she elbowed him in the ribcage. As he released her to recoil from the hit, she stumbled further away from him while furiously adjusting her kimono that had fallen open in their scuffle. She heard him laugh, which made her face flush red, "What's so funny?!"

"Youfeigning modesty." Kakashi sighed, "You always knew you were beautiful. And it distracted me from seeing how ugly you were underneath."

She could feel tears in her eyes, hot and salty, stinging as they tried to force her to cry. Turning her gaze to his, she iced over every sprouting emotion and allowed a smirk to cross her lips, "You were just my first victim. Had to test my sex appeal on some gullible _fool_."

He wanted to kiss that smirk off her lips and shut up her vicious mouth, wanted to grab her in the middle of the street and suffocate her in his arms, wanted to remind her that he'd fallen for her once, and she was about to make him do it all over again. But as he crossed the distance between them, taking hold of her arm to drag her against himself as every muscle in his body wanted to, the door to the nearest house opened and Team 14 from Amegakure ran out while settling into their battle formation, dressed in their pajamas.

"Are you alright, Tanak-sensei?!" Taika yelled, fists held out in front of herself.

Tauro slammed the end of his staff into the ground, "What's he doing following you?"

"Relax, you two." Lyoko sheathed her laitō blade back into the handle of her parasol, assessing how close her sensei was to Kakashi, "I don't think she's in any _unwanted_ danger."

Her brow furrowed at the realization that she and Kakashi were a breath away from each other all of the sudden, close enough that she would have bumped into him if she stepped. She stared up at him, her heart catching in her throat to see the softness in his expression, the same one that had begged her not to leave. Hand pressed to his chest, she lightly pushed him backward to get him to release her, "Goodnight, Kakashi."

Ushering her defensive genin into the house, she offered him no further words or gestures or glances as she disappeared through the sliding doors.

Alone in the middle of the street, Kakashi watched the lights in the back of the house turn on, illuminating the paper screens. He saw her silhouette as he figured she was reprimanding her team, but chose not to linger, "Goodnight, Tanak."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: After Victory, Tighten Your Helmet Strap**

There were few things that made her sensei retreat inside herself, and she had finally found another one. Any mention of her parents or her "home" made Tanak sink into isolation where she would stop talking and probably eat candied chestnuts by the dozens. The second one as she sat back on her legs at the living room table was anything involving Hatake Kakashi, which had reduced her to an ill temperament while she sipped on scalding hot tea with no regard for the temperature. But Lyoko was keen on minding her own business as she poured herself a cup of green tea.

As Taika handed her a bowl of miso soup while walking out of the kitchen, she glanced over at Tauro who was staring at their sensei. She whistled lowly for his attention, glaring at him to keep him from asking her anything. It was just better to let her stew in her own thoughts. Careful not to slurp as she ate, Lyoko tensed up as Tanak set her teacup down and sighed.

"The Chūnin Exam starts today." Tanak folded her hands together and rested her elbows on the table, "You are to report to Room 301 at the Academy at four this evening."

"Any advice on getting through it?" Tauro quipped, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't die." A tiny smirk cracked Tanak's façade, "For the first half, you're going to need to rely on each other."

Lyoko nodded her head, ignoring the glare Tauro cast her way, "Tanak-sensei, when did you become a chūnin?"

"I was seven." She poured herself a second cup of tea, "But times were different then."

"What do you mean?" Taika squeaked.

"We were at war." Tanak turned to the window, staring at the light illuminating the blue curtains, "Konoha needed more shinobi in the field. And the Academy was preparing us for battle should our enemies break through our defenses and enter the village."

"That must have been difficult to grow up with…" Taika muttered.

"It certainly gives you a different perspective on things." Tanak turned her gaze to Lyoko, "I'm curious why you asked."

Lyoko shrugged, "It just explains a thing or two about you." She could tell by the disapproving gleam in her sensei's eyes that she didn't appreciate the ambiguity in her response. But Lyoko wasn't concerned with that as she sipped on her lukewarm tea.

"Explains what about me?" Tanak snapped.

"It explains your dissatisfaction for not being used in a more effective manner as a shinobi." Lyoko knew she had hit a chord close to Tanak's heart, earning worried glances from her teammates as she continued drinking her tea.

"You're perceptive, Lyoko." Tanak stood up, "But don't start assuming. That might get you killed."

Choosing to take that as a threat, Lyoko dismissed herself to the small bedroom she was sharing with her team. She shut the door, unraveling the knot in her robe to let it pool on the floor as she walked. Her feet felt weightless on the _tatami_ floor, the sun illuminating the painted _fusuma_ until the colors of the autumn leaves falling from trees speckled the floor. Tiptoeing over to her belongings, she shuffled through her large backpack until she found a purple kimono.

Her mother sewed all of hers by hand, gifting them on various occasions or just when she thought her daughter needed a new color. If Lyoko could have, she would have brought all of them, but there wasn't much time for evening strolls around the village. One arm sliding into a sleeve, then the other, she tucked the cloth tightly around her waist before fastening a thick pastel orange obi around it. The _furisode_ sleeves fell off her shoulders to reveal a glimpse of the armored bodysuit she wore underneath.

She had learned plenty of things under Tanak's tutelage. From the fundaments of survival to various ninjutsu techniques to the strategies of gathering information. But her favorite lesson was understanding how to use a disadvantage to the eyes of men as her greatest asset – her gender. It started as a refined flirtation, with batted eyed glances, blush tinted cheeks, and innocent half smiles, a kind of combat from a distance. It was the close quarter's interactions that Tanak had only given her subtle details about, the way to lure men with her lotus flower perfume, to stand close enough that the slightest twitch brushed their bodies against each other, to leaning in to offer her lips as a sacrament to impulsive emotions.

She liked being considered beautiful, accenting her budding feminine frame in complimentary colors that made up for the darkness in her eyes and her greyish purple hair. She wore them tight enough to give the impression she had more curves, earnestly waiting for when she would grow more womanly. She exposed a bit of her neckline where her collarbones were pronounced, letting her pale skin shimmer with the oils she bathed in. She liked when men would try to get a glimpse of her face beneath her parasol, craning their necks as she walked past. Tanak had made her vainer, but at least she felt like she had something in common with her sensei.

"Lyoko! Are you done yet?!"

Even she couldn't suppress a smile while she picked up her oilpaper parasol, pulling out the laitō blade to assure it came out smoothly, "Yes, I'm done, Taika."

Taika burst in, nearly tripping as she ran to her bags and started collecting scrolls and various small weapons, "We should leave soon! I don't want to be the last ones to show up."

"We have plenty of time." Tauro sauntered into the room, stretching his arms above his head so his shirt lifted up over his abdomen. He caught Lyoko staring, but she walked past him while jamming the hilt of her laitō into his stomach. He doubled over while trying to laugh through the pain, "Caught ya looking, Lyoko."

"You don't have much to offer, Tauro," Lyoko muttered.

"Let me take you on a date sometime and I'll change your mind."

Lyoko stopped by the door, turning around to coyly smile at him, "What would you have in mind?"

Tauro stepped closer to lean his arm against the wall so he was peering over her, "Maybe I could teach you the rest of Tanak-sensei's techniques?"

Keeping her temper at bay, she gently brushed her fingertips along his jaw while standing up on her toes. Lips inches from his, she reached her hand to tangle in his thick strawberry blonde tresses, "What would _you_ know about the art of sex?" Yanking him by her hold in his hair as hard she could, she sent him sprawling across the floor. Crouching over him, she held her laitō blade across his neck, "Don't pretend like Tanak-sensei has taught you _anything_ about seduction."

"I _dare_ you to teach me then." Tauro tried to move his arms, but she pushed the edge of her blade further against his throat, "I wouldn't mind being the one you work on techniques with."

Lyoko rolled her eyes in the dramatic fashion her sensei always did, "You're not my type."

Climbing off him and walking out of the room, she spun her blade around her fingers before sheathing it. Sliding the door shut behind her, she leaned her back against the wall and tried to ease the fire consuming her skin. She was hot and a little sweaty, in places she wasn't sure should feel that way. Pulling her arms out of the sleeves of her kimono, she fanned herself with her hand only to hear her sensei's chuckling from around the corner.

"You look a bit uncomfortable, Lyoko-chan."

She grinned as Tanak offered her a fan. Flicking it open, she admired the oilpaper image of lotus flowers on a river before using it to cool herself, "We never completed my training on how to calm my desires."

"I'll tell you the secret behind it." Tanak gestured for her to come closer, cupping her hand around her ear to whisper, "You have to remind yourself it's _all_ an act. That you have no emotion towards that individual."

Lyoko's brow furrowed, "That sounds…difficult."

"But most effective." Tanak started walking towards her bedroom, "That's the mental sabotage involved. Trust me that some men will break knowing it meant nothing."

"So that's what you did to Kakashi-sama." Lyoko flinched as Tanak stopped, holding her arms outstretched between the opening to her bedroom. She wasn't sure why she said it, but she couldn't help being bothered by the untold story between her sensei and Hatake Kakashi. She just hadn't spoken up yet, though was starting to regret having done so. She'd never seen Tanak lose her temper, bracing herself for that moment.

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?" Lyoko swore she heard Tanak sniffle, "Actually, Lyoko, it was never an act with him."

Watching her sensei disappear, Lyoko tried to subdue her guilty conscious for assuming Tanak had never been sincere with anyone emotionally. She tucked the fan she was given into her obi sash and slid her arms back into her sleeves while her teammates finally wandered out of their room, fully equipped for their exam. When they walked outside, she opened her parasol and blocked the sun from burning her skin.

"You look paler than usual, Lyoko," Tauro sneered.

"It's because I'm wearing purple," she snapped.

Taika raced up between them, linking her arms with theirs, "Remember what Tanak-sensei said? We're gonna _need_ to rely on each other for this exam!" When her teammates didn't respond, Taika dragged her heels and pulled them to a stop, "Come on, you two! We need to get along!"

Lyoko yanked her arm away, "You worry too much, Taika. Our teamwork is great on missions."

"But you and Tauro always fight."

Tauro shrugged, "It's harmless. We just get on each other's nerves sometimes."

"Well, can you not do that in front of everyone else?" Taika pulled them along with her as she started walking, "I don't want people to target us because they think we don't get along."

"Maybe that's what we should make them think?" Tauro ran his fingers through his hair, offering a wink to a couple passing girls, "So they try coming after us."

"That could draw the attention of too many teams. We don't want to be at a _complete_ disadvantage," Lyoko added while nudging Tauro to keep him focused.

"Where do you think we rank amongst the teams?" Taika muttered.

Lyoko didn't answer, watching as several other genin pushed their way inside the Academy doors. She was too far away to determine the village from their headbands, so she resigned herself to noticing particular physical characteristics. Leading her teammates inside, they climbed up to the third floor to find an empty hallway where Room 301 was on their left.

"How should we make our entrance?" Tauro cracked his knuckles, "I wouldn't mind a brawl with a fellow Amegakure team to show them who's superior."

"What happened to _not_ drawing attention?" Lyoko hissed.

"A few theatrics would spice up the wait!"

Strolling into the classroom while shutting her parasol, she stopped immediately as everyone turned their attention to her, Taika, and Tauro. She hadn't realized just how many teams had shown up. The room was crowded, genin seated on tables, crouched in the corners, and leaning against the walls. She felt Tauro's hand on her shoulder, lingering to caress her soft skin as he leaned to whisper in her ear.

"You look _petrified_ , Lyoko."

"They're all _staring_ at us," she muttered through grinding teeth.

"For a girl as pretty as yourself, you don't know how to handle attention," he chided.

Tauro stretched his arms up to the ceiling, flexing his biceps revealed by the tight, sleeveless tunic he wore. With most of the room still watching him, he smiled from ear to ear, "I know she's beautiful, but you don't have to stare!"

Lyoko's hands clenched into fists and she was tempted to pummel him right there. Grabbing him by the arm, she dragged him off to the other side of the room and shoved him into the wall, "You just don't know when to shut up!"

"I thought you liked making an entrance?" He grinned as she tried to get a hold of his shirt to shake him, but the material was too tight for her to grasp. Her fingers fumbled over his chest much to his amusement, "I could help you take it off…"

Her hand hit his cheek so fast he was sent into the floor. Taika immediately grabbed her arm to keep her from striking him again. Her lips were taut and her eyes were wide enough to swallow her forehead, but Tauro was still laughing. She yanked herself away from Taika and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. Calming down, she noticed a few different genin teams watching them and turning around to whisper to themselves. And it donned on her what he had done.

"You wanted to make me angry, didn't you?" she muttered.

Tauro grinned while straightening himself up, "The weaker ones will try to take advantage of us early…"

"You're supposing the weaker ones will make it past the first exam."

Lyoko pulled the fan her sensei had given her from her sash, absentmindedly staring at the lotus flowers painted on it. The commotion from the front of the room brought her head up and she scanned through the gossiping teams to catch a glimpse of Konohagakure's Team 7 standing at the door. She went to resume inspecting her fan until she heard someone shout.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! And I won't lose to you bastards! You got that?!"

Lyoko's eyes were wide and she tried to decide if she thought it was funny or not. That blonde haired kid was obnoxious, but even she couldn't avoid smiling a little. Shaking her head, she glanced at her teammates to find Tauro grinning while sizing Naruto up and Taika looking around to try to find who was shouting.

"What do you think about those guys?" Tauro said, pointing his chin in Team 7's direction.

Taika stood up on her toes, trying to peer over the shoulders of the genin sitting in front of them to better see who had walked in, "We probably shouldn't underestimate them…"

"That Uzumaki kid has a loud mouth." Lyoko closed her fan with a quiet snap, "I'd like to see what he's made of."

"I can start a fight if you want?" Tauro cracked his knuckles, "Been itching to punch something."

Taika pointed at the Otogakure team, "I think they're beating you to it."

Lyoko leaned off the wall as three genin with music notes on their headbands vaulted forward towards the front of the room. She watched eagerly as they attacked the young man with glasses standing by Team 7. Eyes wide as he dodged the initial swing, the boy with the glasses soon doubled over and vomited. She covered her mouth and turned away before she lost her breakfast onto the floor.

"What the hell just happened?" Tauro muttered.

Lyoko fanned herself and took several deep breaths, "I caught a glimpse of the mechanism on his arm. But I don't have the slightest idea what it did."

Her wave of nausea receding, she stood up taller and glanced around the room at the feel of someone's eyes on her. Face turning scarlet, she caught a Sunagakure boy staring at her. His green eyes held a coldness that sucked the warmth from her skin. There was a misunderstanding there, a sadness beneath his daggered glare. But she was unsure of what he wanted her to do or say as he stared at her.

"Quiet down, you worthless bastards!"

Tearing her eyes away, she peered through the rising smoke from the front of the room to see at least twenty shinobi standing there, each of them wearing Konohagakure headbands. She felt a shiver trickle down her spine as the broad shouldered man at the front of them introduced himself.

"My name is Morino Ibiki, and I'm the proctor for the first exam."

. . . .

Staring up at Hokage Rock, she popped a candied chestnut into her mouth, sucking on it for a few seconds before gnashing it between her back teeth. She expected to feel guiltier beneath their stone gazes, but it almost justified a few things. Leaving Konoha meant she couldn't hurt anyone in the village with her decisions, couldn't stain the ANBU force's reputation, couldn't compromise her missions because of her emotions. With another candied chestnut rolling around her tongue, she offered a salute to the mountain face before turning on her heel.

She strolled down the street, catching several people watching her as she went. Knowing better than to think they were simply admiring her face, she chose to give them nothing more than a nod of her head while making her way toward the academy. The building looked no different as she walked past, catching a glimpse inside the classroom windows where children sat listening to their teacher. She continued along toward the training grounds where she fondly remembered meeting her team for the first time.

Gekkō Hayate and Morino Ibiki… She mused on how often she and Ibiki would go at it when he'd tease her about being a girl and therefore weak. He never meant it maliciously as she came to find out, he just thought it was funny when her temper would fly. Hayate would try to intervene, often catching one of Tanak's errant punches, which made her apologize over and over because she _always_ meant to hit Ibiki.

A sad smile crossed her lips as she began to wonder what they would say if they saw her again. She didn't expect any cheerful greetings, maybe just a scolding from Ibiki while Hayate watched. Finding them could be more difficult with the Chūnin Exam going on, but she figured she could ask around. Maybe they would have some advice about how to deal with all her returning emotions with being back in Konoha? She didn't think of Konoha as home, but everything was coming back slowly, the sights and sounds she would have traded for where she had resigned herself to in Amegakure.

Walking along the open expanse of grass and trees, she saw Konoha's Memorial Stone. As she walked up to it, the names carved becoming readable, she wondered that if she had died, would Konoha have put her name there? Or would they have held against her that she wasn't born in that village? Dropping to her knees, she closed her eyes and folded her hands on her lap, praying.

She saw it as clear as it was years ago. Team Minato returning from their mission in Sunagakure, bearing news of a success overshadowed by Uchiha Obito's death. She didn't know the right way to comfort Kakashi, always knowing him to be stoic and dispassionate, but he had come back different. They all mourned the loss of a comrade and friend, and she wanted to blame Obito for softening Kakashi. Kakashi had become more protective, compassionate in his own quiet way.

 _You did something to change him, Obito-kun. I'm sorry I never appreciated it until now._

"This is the last place I expected to find you."

Opening her eyes, she glanced over her shoulder where Kakashi stood with his hands in his pockets, "It's peaceful here. My mind needed to be at ease."

"Worried about your genin?" He waited for an indication of an answer, but she just slowly rose to her feet, "Or has Konoha brought back too many memories?"

"The former," she assured him. She grinned as he stood there, drinking in the sight of her, trying to find the subtle differences about her.

There was a tiny curl at the end of her long hair that he had just noticed, a flicker in her eyes that turned them blue then green depending on how she tilted her chin. Her skin held a pallor he wasn't familiar with, glinting under the sun that used to leave her tanned. She wore a darker stain on her lips, crimson rather than rose. Her lack of modesty was nothing surprising to him, but he found himself much more appreciative of her curvy hips and muscular legs beneath skin tight pants, the hourglass outline of her abs that she showed off below her cropped mesh shirt. But she was vainer than she had been in the past, forgoing innocent, flirtatious gestures for boldly stomping around to draw men into her arms.

"I hardly believed it was you yesterday." He moved past her and stared at the Memorial Stone, "Who'd have thought seven years would have made so much of a difference?"

Tanak nudged him with her shoulder playfully, "Well, it didn't change _too much_ of how I look."

"Not from a distance at least." Everything in his body ached to touch her cheek, to see if her skin was still soft, "I'm working on figuring you out."

"You're gonna be at that for a while." She gave him a sidelong glance, "Your sharingan won't be very helpful analyzing me."

He laughed, "I'll need to take a more physical approa-" He caught himself too late, glancing at Tanak who was snickering, "What I meant is-"

"We were never very good at talking anyway." She brushed off the top of the Memorial Stone where a few flower petals had fallen, "I'd usually let my temper get the better of me and we'd start arguing…"

"I wasn't any good at conveying how I felt." He sighed, "And that just made things worse."

Tanak giggled, turning on her heel to leave. She had no interest in hashing out the details of their relationship, at least not yet. She didn't want to be that vulnerable again, "I can hardly believe you've gotten this sentimental since I left!"

Kakashi shook his head, aggravated by the singsong tone in her voice, "You've gotten callous."

"I thought you'd like me better this way." She glanced over her shoulder, "Not that I don't _love_ our conversations, but I'm not in the mood to dwell on the past."

He strolled up beside her, "Why don't you join me and the other Konoha jōnin for lunch?"

"That doesn't seem like a good idea. I didn't exactly leave Konoha on good terms."

"Then you should probably start making up for that."

Looking up at him, she saw his easygoing smile. A blush rising in her cheeks, she rolled her eyes to regain her composure, "Fine. But you're paying."

"As usual."

She smiled, hiding it beneath the collar of her _hanten_ that broke away from her body with each sweep of the wind. Walking alongside him in the silence was refreshing, and she wished she had more memories of just that simple thing. But when Kakashi came to her mind, it was heated arguments and aggressive sex that sated a whirlwind of feelings they couldn't communicate to one another. She wanted to blame it on being young, but she knew the secrets she kept from him were what ruined everything.

Making their way into town, she noticed more people pointing and staring at them as they passed. She grinned, nudging Kakashi, "Blast from the past, huh?"

"You've always loved attention." He grinned while she linked her arm with his, much like she used to when they were younger, "Though I think they're just wondering what I'm doing with an Amegakure kunoichi."

"I think people still remember seeing you with a beautiful woman like myself!" She winked at him, "If you didn't enjoy _some_ of it then you wouldn't have stuck around."

He pulled his arm from hers, "There must have been nothing you enjoyed since you're the one who left." She opened her mouth to reply, but realized that he had stopped in front of a small café where two familiar faces were sitting. She _still_ hated when he got the last word. Glancing at the two jōnin already seated, she waved a "hello" while Kakashi kept talking, "Asuma, Kurenai, I'm sure you remember Tanak."

"Explains why you're late..." Asuma pointed at them, noticing how close they stood together, "You two back together, or something?"

Tanak and Kakashi looked at each other, then away, both blushing until Tanak spoke up, "Um… _no_. We're just catching up."

Tanak sat across from Kurenai and gestured for a waitress to take her order, but Kakashi interrupted her, "She'll have one of your _oshizushi_ specials." She gave him a glare, trying to brush off how well he still knew her. He smiled mockingly, "I figured since I'm paying."

" _Sure_ you two aren't getting back together," Asuma sneered.

"I suppose Kakashi is just improving inter-village relationships with his gesture," Tanak drawled.

She stuck her tongue out at him while he smugly grinned beneath his mask. She wanted to wipe that smirk clean off his lips, but she was caught between punching him and kissing him. There was something about him that just irked her, burrowed underneath her skin until all she could think about was him. It flushed her cheeks and knotted her insides, leaving desire to consume her every thought while she contemplated how to get him alone.

"So you must have a team here for the Chūnin Exam," Kurenai said to dissipate the tension.

Tanak smiled in reply, unaware that her face had turned a slight pink shade. Thanking the waitress as she set her sushi in front of her, she added, "Yes. They are the pride of Amegakure's clans."

"I got lucky with my team." Asuma blew out a puff of smoke from his cigarette, "They come from a long line of clans that have fought together."

"Ino-Shika-Chō?" Kurenai lifted a brow at Tanak's answer, but she waved her off while swallowing her sushi, "I'm familiar with clan histories. Or have you forgotten I used to live here?"

"You also left." Asuma glanced at Kakashi, who seemed less than eager to get involved in that conversation, "The Sandaime Hokage was lenient in dealing with your _desertion_."

Tanak's eyes glinted in amusement while she laughed off his implied accusation, "I had some soul searching to do."

"You're lucky Kakashi-"

"Drop it, Asuma." Kakashi didn't want her to know any detail of his begging the Sandaime to not kill her, and how he had done that on more than one occasion once he had failed to locate her. He knew Hiruzen could only keep her out of the Bingo Books for so long before his position of leadership in Konoha was questioned, "We didn't come here to hash out the details of Tanak's disappearance." Despite that he wanted nothing more than to get her to explain it all to him.

"I'm sure we're all worried about our teams," Kurenai mused, hoping the change of topics would lessen the hostility.

"The only one I sometimes worry about is Naruto," Kakashi replied.

Asuma shook his head, "I'm worried about all of them…"

Tanak drummed her fingers on the table, "One of my genin is prone to anxiety attacks. You can only imagine how that interferes with a mission."

"I suppose we can only hope that our 'weakest' one is inspired by their teammates to fight harder," Kurenai mused.

"I think that depends on who proctors the first exam," Kakashi muttered.

Tanak's brow furrowed as she finished swallowing a piece of sushi, "Meaning…?"

Asuma dragged out the puff he took from his cigarette, "Morino Ibiki is the proctor for the first exam."

She was unable to control the impulse as she burst out laughing at the thought of how frightening Ibiki could be, "Ibiki is the proctor! Those kids are _in_ for it!"

"Who is Ibiki…?" Kurenai muttered.

"We were teammates. Used to always let him rile me up!" Tanak was grinning ear to ear, "Kinda miss the bastard…"

Kakashi shook his head, "Ibiki is a sadist. A special jōnin in the interrogation corps. I'll be surprised if that many teams get past him."

"Only the best will survive." Asuma gestured for the waitress to bring his check, "You've got to decide realistically who on your team will actually get promoted."

Tanak mused on that, confident that only Lyoko had the maturity to advance her rank, "If anything this exam will teach these genin a little about the _real_ path of a shinobi."

"I'm not sure Ibiki is the best one to introduce them to the 'real path'." Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest while leaning back in his seat, "He's got experiences that the rest of us have nightmares of."

Asuma stood with Kurenai, "Everyone's got a little darkness in their past that they can pass onto the younger generation." He saluted Tanak and Kakashi, "Catch up with you two later."

Tanak waited until they were out of earshot before whispering, "They are definitely sleeping together."

"Kinda obvious, isn't it?" Kakashi mused.

She stared down at her sushi, pushing the last couple pieces around with her chopsticks. Sitting close, silence between them, she began to wonder if she should tell him about everything that happened when she left? Or maybe just start by telling him _why_ she left? When she glanced over at him, she felt a familiar heat rise in her cheeks and desire stir between her legs. She couldn't resist the mischievous grin that slid across her lips as she leaned over to him and rested her hand against his cheek.

Kakashi tensed at her touch, expression softening as he met those pretty eyes of hers. He wanted nothing more than to be able to trust her, but even the ache of wanting to feel the skin of her palm against his cheek couldn't convince him. _She left Konoha. She left you. What makes you think anything she's said up to this point is the truth?_

Tanak giggled, lifting up a piece of sushi between them while gently tugging at his mask, "Open up, Handsome."

His vision reeled, overwhelmed by the need to kiss her as he watched each word form on her red lips. But he quickly pushed her hand away as he felt his mask slipping below his nose, "I'm not going to play your game, Tanak."

She gave him her typical pout, bottom lip sticking out and hiding her gaze beneath batted eyelashes. Damn he loved that look, "I don't know _what_ you're talking about-"

"Years ago I would've fallen for your hollow flirtations." He beckoned the waitress for the check, "But I've learned that _everything_ with you is lies and secrets."

"I thought men prefer when there aren't any strings attached…" she muttered.

Kakashi shook his head, "I'm not another one of your missions, Tanak."

"Maybe I'm trying to figure things out?" She tossed her chopsticks on the table, "Being with you again…it's one of the hardest…" Floundering for words, she laughed grimly while glancing over her shoulder.

"Say that I did feel that way for you again." He waited for her reaction, disheartened by her grin returning, though he could see something else fighting behind her eyes. Tears were trying to force their way down her cheeks, but she laughed through it as she always did. His heart sank in his chest, "Never mind."

"What do you want from me?" She stood up from the table, nearly knocking her chair over, "Have you figured it out yet that I'm permanently _fucked_ from the missions Konoha assigned me!"

"You act like you're the only one who suffered from the war."

Her hands clenched into fists, "I may not have gotten _both_ my teammates killed, but I've dealt with _plenty_ on my own!"

How quickly he stood up, his chair clattering to the floor, caused her to flinch. But he just turned to the owner of the café who had stopped working on orders to glower at them, "I'm sorry for the disturbance."

"Take your marital argument somewhere else!" the owner scoffed.

Tanak's eyes widened, the left one twitching slightly as she glared at the man behind the counter. Her face beamed scarlet while Kakashi turned to set aside money for the check he had been brought, knowing full well that he was embarrassed too, " _Marital_ argument? The hell makes you think _he_ can land a woman with an _ass_ like mine?"

Kakashi nearly tripped into the table when those words flew out of her loud mouth. He grabbed her arm to drag her off, quietly laughing to himself that her temper was still kind of cute. As she stumbled past the table, she scooped up what he meant to leave as a tip.

"That's not very polite-"

"Like hell you should leave a tip with that kind of service." She jingled the few yens he had left behind in her hand, but when he made to grab them she twirled around out of his reach, "You want it, then come and get it."

Kakashi sighed, irritated and exhausted from dealing with her, "What do _you_ want, Tanak?"

She stared at the coins in her hand shuffling them around with her fingers. Smiling faintly, she flipped one of the yen into the air and caught it, "I suppose that's the only question that matters." Turning her gaze to the sky, she tried to keep the oncoming tears behind her eyes. It was getting worse. Her mistakes tore at her clothes until she was laid bare in front of him, "I don't know." Walking closer to him, she took his hand and pressed the coins into his palm, "I thought I'd be done running away, but that's just easier for me right now."

Instinctively grabbing her wrist as she turned to walk away, the words didn't come easy. Unlike the day she left. Maybe he had just said too much back then, saving nothing for when he saw her again, "When you're done running, I'll be here."

Tanak smiled, one tear escaping down her cheek. There was a tiny flutter in her chest that made her laugh, but not in that fake, ugly way she practiced, in a genuine giddiness that a young girl had when her crush finally noticed her, "You'll be _here_?" She pulled her arm away and spun around in a circle, "Right in the middle of this road?"

"If it means you'll came back." Kakashi jammed his hands in his pockets, "Just don't take so long this time."

"Thank you."

She waved her fingers in a goodbye while turning to head down the street. Kakashi smiled to himself, watching that sexy swing of her hips as she disappeared down the road. While he did hate the idea of her leaving, he couldn't complain about the view. Rocking back on his heels, he was nearly shoved over into the ground as a hand slapped his back.

"Having trouble with the ladies, Kakashi?"

He cringed at Gai's boisterous voice ringing in his ears. Tuning out whatever rant he had come up with, Kakashi began to wonder how far along his genin were in their first exam.

. . . .

She had already gotten over her initial panic attack when Morino Ibiki announced the first exam was a written test, but with only fifteen minutes remaining before the final question, she could feel her chest tighten, her breathing quickening, her skin blanching, her vision blurring. Wrapping her arms around herself in a hug, she rocked back and forth a couple times while closing her eyes. She'd never make it past this exam if she couldn't refocus, and she probably looked like a fool in front of her teammates!

Eyes snapping open, she could hear the kunai being thrown before it landed in the table she sat at. Worried that she had somehow been considered cheating, she breathed a sigh of relief when the proctors told the boy to her left to leave with his team. She took the moment to glance around the room, hoping the commotion would give her time to locate Tauro, who could give her an encouraging glance. But she found a pair of unfamiliar eyes looking at her.

He had shiny black hair and thick eyebrows, his dazed stare turning her cheeks pink. Shyly smiling at the boy, which made him blush, she heard the sound of a proctor's pencil scratching on his paper. Figuring she just got in trouble for "cheating", she resumed staring at her test where she had doodled in the corners, suddenly calmed by that small interaction. Glancing up, she noticed something reflected on one of the mirrors above her. She could clearly read the answers on the test to her right, but she didn't know who was moving it.

Untying her headband from around her waist, she secured it around her forehead while looking up to memorize as many answers as she could. As she scribbled them onto her paper, she felt comforted knowing she wouldn't completely fail her teammates by not answering any of them. She figured Lyoko had breezed through the exam being the "genius" she was, and Tauro was using his genjutsu somehow. Not being as smart as them didn't bother her very often, because she had other ways to prove herself.

Taika resigned herself to the five questions she had answered, resuming doodling on her page while glancing around the room. Watching as team after team was eliminated, she began praying that her constant observation wasn't considered cheating. Head bowed in fear that she'd be the next one dragged from her chair, she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She squinted her eyes shut while trying to keep her lunch in her stomach. Eventually she'd get over her anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns or else she'd never make it past the genin rank!

"We will now start the tenth question."

Taika shook her bangs out of her face, lifting her head to watch as Morino Ibiki paced around the front of the room.

"But first, I'll explain the rules of desperation." Ibiki squared his shoulders to them, his eyes darkening, "For the tenth question, you must decide if you will take it or not."

A Sunagakure kunoichi's voice rose above the chatter that erupted in the room, "Choose?! What happens if we choose not to?!"

"If you choose not to answer it, your points will be reduced to zero and you fail along with your teammates!"

Taika tasted bile as she scolded herself for considering in that split second to not try answering the question. She could feel Lyoko's eyes searing the back of her neck as she glanced over her shoulder to see her teammate high above her. Her throat ran dry and she licked her lips while several other genin argued that they would answer the question, to get it on with.

But Ibiki smirked, "And now for the other rule." He waited until they were all silent before continuing, "If you choose to take the tenth question and answer it incorrectly, then you will never be able to take the Chūnin Exam again!"

Her eyes widened, her spine rigid until she almost fell out of her chair. Shaking her head, auburn hair tickling the ridge of her nose, she tried to assure herself that she could pass this. Her teammates would need her if they expected to make it through the second exam, and she'd fail them both if she chose not to answer it! She covered her ears with her hands for a moment to block out the angry protesting until she had returned her breathing to normal.

"But I am giving you an out." Ibiki stared them down, hands tucked deep in his pockets, "Those of you that aren't confident in answering it can choose not to and try again next year."

That did it. She teetered in her seat, eyes rolling back as she hit the floor with a thud.

Lyoko drummed her fingers on the table, a look of annoyance on her face as Tauro jumped out of his seat, rushing to Taika's side and trying to fan her blanched face with his hand. She laughed under her breath as he cradled her in his arms, "She'll come to in a few minutes."

"So that's normal?"

Lyoko glared at the boy a few seats down to her left. He had featureless white eyes and long black hair held back with his Konoha ninja band, smirking against his fingers with his elbows propped on the table. She gave him a once over with her eyes, "What's it to you?"

"Disrupting the exam with such an antic." He leveled his gaze on her with a sideways glance, "Though what good it would do you."

"I happen to enjoy a bit of theatrics." She winked at him, figuring it was pointless by then for her team to stop drawing attention to themselves, "Dissipates the tension."

Taika opened her eyes, taking in a noisy, deep breath while sitting upright with a jolt. She waved at Lyoko with a big smile on her face, "Don't worry! I feel much better now." She thanked Tauro and clambered back into her seat to see Ibiki glaring at her impatiently, but somewhere in his eyes she saw amusement glinting.

"Those that don't want to take it, raise your hands. Once your number has been confirmed, you may leave."

Lyoko ignored the several genin that vacated seats next to and around her. Catching that same boy observing her, she lifted her chin up a little higher to give him the impression she was looking down at him while rolling her shoulder back so that the sleeves of her kimono slipped further down her arms. To see the grin that stretched across his lips made her skin tingle with heat, rushing up her neck then her cheeks. Turning away, she scolded herself for failing to keep her composure, his chuckling stinging her ears. Tanak-sensei would have scolded her and muttered that maybe she was too young to master her techniques.

Skin prickling, she felt the burn of someone's eyes on the back of her neck. With a glance over her shoulder she saw that same Sunagakure genin from earlier watching her with his black rimmed eyes. Her haughty air was swept away, and she began feeling as vulnerable as any thirteen year old kunoichi might in a room with so many strong male genin. She wanted to offer him a kind gesture, a smile or wave, but was too transfixed by him to move.

Her attention was turned to the front of the room as that obnoxiously loud kid from Team 7 slammed his hand on his desk and shouted, "Don't underestimate me! Even if I remain a genin my whole life, I'm going to be Hokage anyway! I'm not afraid!"

The tiniest grin crept across Lyoko's face as she glanced at both of her teammates: Taika smiling with bright white teeth and Tauro leaning back in his chair with his arms cross over his chest. She was itching to finish this exam and test her mettle against any one of the teams in the room.

Ibiki chuckled, "Good decision….So to everyone still remaining..." A toothy smile eclipsed his scarred face, "I congratulate you on passing the first exam!"

Taika leapt out of her seat, punching the air with both her fists, "I knew we'd do it!"

"You were the one contemplating not answering the tenth question, so sit your giddy ass back down," Lyoko retorted.

"Wait…What about the tenth question?" Sakura asked.

Ibiki laughed, "There isn't one. Or you could say that those two options were the tenth question."

"Then what the hell were the first nine questions for?!" The Sunagakure kunoichi shouted, nearly launching herself over the table, "They were pointless!"

"They weren't pointless." Ibiki rolled his eyes, "They were to test your ability to gather information. The questions on this exam are beyond the average genin intelligence, so you needed to cheat." He pointed to several nin sitting in the room, "And we provided you with chūnin cheating targets who had all the right answers."

Taika blushed, realizing one chūnin was sitting on her right, "Well…this is awkward…"

The chūnin chuckled, "You're going to want to get control of your anxiety. Could be costly in a mission."

Ibiki started untying his ninja band, "Those that cheat poorly fail. And sometimes information is more important than your life." The entire room gasped to see his disfigured head, deep holes, burn marks, and scars that stretched across his skull, "On missions and on the battlefield, people risk their lives to acquire information."

Taika grimaced, feeling nausea climb up her esophagus until Ibiki covered his head again with his ninja band, "I really need to work on that…"

"So about that last question." Tauro kicked his feet up on the table, leaning on the last two legs of his chair, "That seemed to weigh a lot more than any of these other ones."

Ibiki studied him for a moment, looking for a ninja band to signify where he was from, "The decision to 'take it' or 'not take it' were difficult choices. You will be assigned missions that are dangerous. You might be worrying about dying or putting your teammates in jeopardy, but these are all unavoidable! Those that hope for a second chance don't deserve to become chūnin!"

Taika tumbled out of her chair as the window to her left shattered and a black shroud flew into the room. Tauro tipped backwards too far, tumbling legs over his head much to the amusement of the girls near him. Lyoko smacked her forehead, embarrassed by both her teammates especially when the Konoha boy caught her glance and laughed. She'd shut him up later if she got the chance.

"There's no time to celebrate!" A woman unraveled herself from the banner she had pinned to the ceiling, "I am the examiner for the second test! Mitarashi Anko! Now let's go!"

Tauro peered overtop the table, blushing when the next examiner gave him an inquisitive glance, "I think I've had enough excitement for one day…"

"Ibiki! You passed 26 teams?!" Anko set her hands on her hips, "You've gotten soft!"

Ibiki grinned, "We've got a strong group this time."

"Whatever." She waved her hand dismissively, "I'll cut them in half in the second exam."

Anko started walking out of the room, the genin hurrying out of their seats to find their teammates before following.

Swinging her backpack over her shoulder, Taika linked her arms with Lyoko and Tauro's as she found them waiting at the door. Dragging them along until they were outside, she wrinkled her nose as Lyoko pulled away to open her parasol. The sunlight glinted off the oilpaper canvas, littering the ground with specks of purple and pink that Taika tried to step on as she walked.

"Excuse me!"

Unsure who the voice was indicating, Taika looked at Lyoko, who just rolled her eyes and kept walking. Taika stopped and turned around to find the boy who she caught staring at her waving in her direction, "Hello."

He ran up next to her, panting a bit as he caught his breath, "I wanted to introduce myself! I'm Lee Rock."

"It's nice to meet you." Taika offered her hand, "I'm Miyata Taika."

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, "That's a really pretty name." She giggled, face beaming red as she was unable to form words. He smiled at her which made her heart lodge in her throat, "I couldn't help noticing you earlier-" Lee pitched forward as a girl came up behind him and smacked him upside the head.

"Will you stop hitting on her? Now is the wrong time for that!"

Lee kept his head bowed, "But I may never see her again…"

"And we might just have to fight her in the next exam!"

Tauro slid between the kunoichi and Lee, noticing that Taika was stuck, "No need for hostilities!" He sized the girl up, winking at her while she scowled, "Nothing wrong with complimenting an obvious beauty." Stretching his arms above his head, he grinned to see her watching his biceps flex, "Speaking of which… I'm Oshiro Tauro. And your gorgeous self is…?"

She tried to hide her blush by shaking her head, "TenTen."

"A whole lot of heaven!" He flashed a toothy smile, "Konoha does have the most beautiful kunoichi of any village I've seen."

TenTen wrinkled her nose, "Never short of a pick-up line, huh?"

"I figure it could help improve inter-village relations," Tauro hummed.

"Are you two done fucking around?" Lyoko strolled up beside Tauro and Taika, spinning her parasol over her shoulder, "We need to be focusing on this next exam."

"It seems we both have wayward teammates."

Lyoko wet her lips as that Konoha boy sauntered up to her, glancing quickly at his teammates to draw them back into line. She felt her heart skip, but kept herself in check by looking him over with a raised brow, "That's about all we've got in common."

"To be determined." His eyes started at the slit in her kimono where her thighs were revealed and worked their way up her chest then neck then her face. He grinned as if he had just deciphered all her jutsus, her personal tics, "Hyūga Neji."

"Saito Lyoko." She bowed her head to him as a gesture of greeting, "I consider it a pleasure to meet someone from one of Konoha's most noble clans."

Neji scoffed at that, "Flattery doesn't sound natural in your voice."

"I still need more than a name to consider you worthy." Lyoko gestured for her teammates to follow her as she turned on her heel, "I look forward to an opportunity to test your mettle."

Walking at a steady pace to catch back up with the other genin, she ignored her stomach dropping as she looked up at the towering fence that surrounded a forest labeled "Area 44". Couldn't have been much different than that mission Tanak had assigned them to in Takigakure. Well, the landscape was a bit more ominous and she wasn't sure what to expect from the flora and fauna, but she hoped her extensive training in survival would pay off with constant threats surrounding her team.

"Welcome to the second stage of the Chūnin Exam!" Anko grinned, "This is the Forty-Fourth Training Ground. Also known as 'The Forest of Death'."

Lyoko cringed at the sound of someone retching, whatever came up puddling on the ground near her. She recoiled in disgust to find Taika hunched over while dispensing the contents of her lunch onto the grass. Her left eye twitched and she tried to remind herself not to let her temper get the better of her which resulted in her hissing, "Are you done causing a scene yet?!"

Taika wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "I feel much better now."

"We're going to be targeted early because of how weak we look," Lyoko muttered.

"Then tell them to bring it on." Tauro punched his fist into his hand, "We'll finally be able to fight in this next exam."

"But between Taika's anxiety attacks and your bravado, we come off as a team of idiots!"

Tauro wrinkled his nose, "Speak for yourself…"

Lyoko turned on Taika, "You need to get a grip on yourself."

"I'm trying!" Taika spat on the ground a couple times to try to rid her mouth of that nasty vomit aftertaste, "It only happened because it was a written test. I'll be fine through the rest of this!"

"What's got you stressed out, Lyoko?" Tauro took a quick glance around at the remaining teams, "We usually let Taika do all the panicking for both of us."

Taika punched Tauro's arm, "Hey! That's not nice!"

"As for you, Tauro, worry less about impressing the kunoichi here-"

Lyoko didn't have time to continue scolding both of them as Anko's voice rose above the commotion, "Before we start the second exam, I need everyone to sign these agreement forms!" Murmurs followed before Anko explained herself, "There will be deaths in this one, and if I don't have you sign these it will all be my responsibility."

Lyoko took one of the papers, passing them around to her teammates. Glancing at the genin around her, she tried to decide on a worthwhile target that wouldn't get them killed. She figured a team from Konoha would be their best chance, but part of her wouldn't have minded knocking around a fellow Amegakure team.

"The second exam is the ultimate survival test! Each team will be given either an earth scroll or a heaven scroll. Your objective is to collect both scrolls and make it to the tower in 120 hours!"

Tauro nudged Lyoko, sending her pen skidding of the edge of the agreement paper and ruining her signature, "Five days to cover ten kilometers? Sounds too easy."

"Taika could cover that in thirty minutes, but there more's to this than reaching the tower," Lyoko replied.

"Just means we should attack early." He gestured with his chin to a team behind them, "This group behind us looks scared shitless."

"You and Taika will need to give me time to make camp. We should try to get a couple miles behind us once this begins."

"Now! Let me explain what will disqualify you! First, those that don't make it to the tower with both scrolls within the time limit. Second, those who lose a teammate or those who have a teammate killed."

Lyoko could hear Tanak's voice ringing in her ears – _Don't die_. Well, that made a lot more sense given the circumstances.

"As a rule, there is no quitting. You will be in the forest for five days. Also, you must not look in the scroll until you make it to the tower."

"And what happens if you open it?" Naruto asked.

"That's a surprise." Anko looked them all over before continuing, "A chūnin will be asked to handle classified information. This is to test your trustworthiness."

Rounding up her teammates, Lyoko headed toward the tent where teams were turning in their agreement forms in exchange for a scroll. Once behind the black curtain, she was given a white heaven scroll. She handed it to Taika, who tucked it into the shuriken pouch on her left thigh.

"Why are you giving it to me?" Taika asked.

"Because you're the fastest. If we have to run for it, they won't be able to catch you," Lyoko replied.

"What would happen to you and Tauro then?"

Tauro cracked his knuckles, "We'll take care of whoever tries to tail us."

It was comforting in its own strange way, and Lyoko found herself smiling as they left the tent and headed towards gate twenty two. Passing by the Otogakure nin, Lyoko twirled her parasol to cover her face as she saw them staring. There was something unnerving about the three of them, and she could only blame it on having never heard of that village before. And she considered herself well read in anything regarding the shinobi world.

"I think we should avoid the Otogakure team," she said once they had reached their gate.

"Are you actually afraid?" Tauro jeered.

Lyoko glared at him, "I'm more concerned about not getting either of you killed."

"You know your kimono is going to get dirty-" Tauro hunched over laughing while trying to shake off Lyoko smacking him with her parasol as she closed it.

Taika smiled to herself, "I trust you, Lyoko."

Watching the chūnin standing by them unlock their gate, Lyoko grinned. While it sounded daunting that genin would die in this exam, she had faith in her teammates. They'd encountered death before thanks to Tanak, but while it seemed out of line at the time, it gave her confidence in facing some of these other teams. When she heard Anko shout that the exam had begun, she signaled for her teammates to follow her as she bolted off into the nearest tree. Sweeping above the foliage, she kept her eyes peeled for a place to make camp. Once her preparations were done, she'd devise a plan to find an earth scroll.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: You Forget the Heat Once it's Down Your Throat**

" _Did you hear about Kakashi-kun?"_

 _"He was promoted to the jōnin rank already!"_

 _"He's so cool."_

 _"And dreamy!"_

 _"He used to sit next to me in class."_

 _"Rin-chan is so lucky she's on his team!"_

 _She rolled her eyes while shoving past those stupid kunoichi she had to tolerate when she was at the Academy. Hearing their huffs and listening to their hateful words, she smiled to herself while swinging her hips so obviously outlined in her tight pants as she strolled down the street. She knew they were jealous of her already developing figure, and she often reminded them they were flat chested bitches that could keep wishing for guys to notice them so long as she was around to steal hearts. Flipping them off when she heard them scoffing about how mean she was, she hid her smile when he hopped down from the nearest roof._

 _"Pissing off your fellow kunoichi." Kakashi smirked when she glanced at him, "Pleasant as usual, Tanak-chan."_

 _"You know how much I_ love _hearing other girls talk about you." She tossed her hair over her shoulder, the sun glinting off its pearly sheen, "Besides, you weren't the_ only _one promoted to jōnin."_

 _"So that's what you're bitter about."_

 _She waved her hand dismissively, "Just because I'm a girl, I don't get nearly the attention." Kakashi stopped walking, letting her continue sashaying ahead of him. When she glanced over her shoulder and caught him looking at her butt, she turned red with anger, "You're not helping!"_

 _"I was proving a point." He held his hands up as a sign of peace before she decided to punch him as she stomped his way, "You get plenty of attention for other things."_

 _That brought a sneaky grin across her face while she dragged a finger along his jaw, sweeping under his chin, "Things like what, Kakashi-kun?"_

 _His face flushed with heat, "Just…other things."_

 _She winked at him while tapping his nose, "You don't have to be shy."_

 _"You already know you're pretty."_

 _"Doesn't mean you can't compliment me."_

 _"Your ego doesn't need that."_

 _She shoved him aside at that, trudging down the road in a less than feminine way. The one guy she wanted attention from and he couldn't even tell her she was beautiful! The older jōnin didn't have a problem with it, but maybe the hag was right that it took mature men to appreciate her. But she didn't care about them. She just wanted Hatake Kakashi to acknowledge her._

 _"Your temper can be kind of cute sometimes." She refused to look over at Kakashi as he caught up to her, tossing her head so her bangs swept over her eyes and obscured him further from view. Kakashi sighed, "I'm trying to give you a compliment."_

 _"Then try again," she scoffed._

 _"You're being a brat."_

 _"Then stop following me."_

 _She continued on her rampaged path toward the Naka River, figuring she could calm down by watching the water ebb and flow beneath her feet. From the first time she met Hatake Kakashi, she knew she would never look at a boy the same way she looked at him. He was stoic in his demeanor, and she was filled with a desire to unravel each mysterious quality he possessed that sent all her female classmates into a tizzy. But it wasn't enough to just be seen with him. As she sat on the dock's edge, stretching her legs so that her toes brushed the water, she stewed in his refusal to compliment her like she expected with pretty words confessing innocent emotions._

 _Feeling his shadow over hers as he went to sit down, she hissed, "Who said I wanted you sitting next to me?"_

 _"I know that if I try to leave you'll throw a fit." Hanging his feet over the edge, he watched the water slosh around the dock's wooden legs, "How about you just tell me what you want from me?" She smiled shyly to herself, feeling his eyes on her as he sighed. His hand reached out, startling her, but he tucked her bangs behind her ear, quickly withdrawing his hand as she began to blush, "That's better…"_

 _"Meaning?"_

 _"I can see your face."_

 _"So you like my face?"_

 _"You know I think you're pretty."_

 _"I guess so…" She sighed heavily, leaning over to prop her elbows on her thighs and hold her chin in her hands, "You asked me what I wanted from you." Kakashi raised a brow, ears peaking to hear her answer, "And it's something small, but it would mean a lot."_

 _"What is it?"_

 _"A kiss."_

 _Kakashi's face flushed red, and he turned his eyes to his feet, "Um…I've never kissed a girl."_

 _"Would be the first for both of us!"_

 _"You haven't kissed anyone before?"_

 _Her eyes narrowed into a fierce glare, "You seem surprised by that."_

 _"You're so flirty, so yeah, I kinda figured you would've already had your first kiss," Kakashi snapped._

 _"Here's a news flash for you, Idiot, I've been saving my kiss for you!"_

 _She crossed her arms over her chest, bottom lip protruding in a pout while she waited for him to make up for yet another of his irritating comments. Her skin felt clammy the longer she ignored him, tension rising like water thrown on fire. Nothing would have been more satisfying than grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him with every bit of strength her thirteen year old body could muster._

 _Catching Kakashi check their surroundings out of the corner of her eye, she sneered, "Scared someone will see your face?"_

 _"How can you be sure you'll even like my face?" he retorted._

 _Tanak turned to him, crawling closer on her hands and knees, exposing a glimpse of cleavage from her v-neck shirt beneath her chūnin vest. Her nose brushed his while she reached to pull his mask down, breath warm on his cheeks, "Your father was a handsome man. I have a hunch you got his looks."_

 _Fingers plucking at the edge of his mask, she slowly tugged it down his nose then past his lips and beneath his chin. There was a breath's space between them, just enough that their chests brushed as they inhaled the foreign scent of each other. He leaned up to her, pressing his lips against hers, the sensation widening her eyes. Body going rigid, spine straightening, muscles tightening, she was unsure where her hands should fall, but settled on resting them against his chest. Sitting back on her legs, wanting to see if he'd draw her closer, she smiled into their kiss as his hands wove through her thick hair and held her face up to his._

 _He tasted so…so… It was like…_ Wait. Why couldn't she remember it? Her heart strained in her chest to find a way to describe it, but it felt empty.

 _Head titling as he kissed her earnestly, searching for a taste of every inch of her mouth, she rolled the tip of her tongue across his bottom lip. Giggling when he pulled away, she mused on how cute he was when he was flustered. It wasn't something most people got to see in him, and she liked knowing she could do that to him._

 _"That bad, huh?" he sulked._

 _Tanak shook her head, "Not at all! I just can't believe you've never kissed anyone."_

 _"Meaning?"_

 _"You're pretty good."_

 _"So are you."_

 _Tanak opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of her name being called broke the infatuated trance that had glossed over her face. Kakashi regained his senses and pulled his mask back up while Tanak rolled her eyes at the older woman walking down the street._

 _"Tanak! Tanak!"_

 _She wrinkled her nose, "The old hag screeches like hawks squabbling over prey…"_

 _Kakashi grinned while standing and offering his hand to her, "You should probably get going."_

 _Accepting his gesture, she let him pull her to her feet. Hearing her name again, she shouted, "Be right there, Chiasa-san!" She smiled at Kakashi, "Thank you."_

 _"Guess I wouldn't mind doing that again," he mumbled, face beaming red._

 _"Me too." She went to leave, but he still held her hand. He reached out to tuck her bangs back behind her ear, the sensation of his fingers brushing her cheek turning her face scarlet. Laughing unsurely, she said, "Better?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _She waved goodbye, grudgingly running over to Chiasa, her guardian. Refusing the take the older woman's hand, she crossed her arms over her chest as they started walking. Thirteen years hadn't made her anymore adjusted to seeing her caretaker as a motherly figure. The woman just wasn't affectionate or caring in the way Tanak expected._

 _"Why did I have to leave early?" Tanak asked._

 _"The Hokage wants to speak with you," Chiasa replied._

 _Brow furrowed, Tanak tried to decide on a reason the Hokage would call upon her, "Why?"_

 _"You're a jōnin now." Chiasa smiled slyly when Tanak finally took her hand, loosely entwining their fingers, something Tanak would do when she finally admitted she was worried, "There is an important mission for you to prepare for."_

 _"Will Ibiki and Hayate be joining me?"_

 _"No,_ Shinju _." Chiasa remained fixated on the road ahead rather than meeting Tanak's inquisitive glance, "This is a mission meant only for you."_

Opening her eyes, she squinted as steam clouded her vision and forced tears to pool. She wondered how long she'd passed out for, head resting on her arms while she leaned over the edge of the _onsen_ bath. Rubbing her eyes, she stretched and stood up taller. Her breasts became the object of several stolen glances and jealous whispers, but she hardly considered that rude anymore. Sinking further into the water, she welcomed the stinging heat that cleansed her pores. She felt rejuvenated and relaxed, at peace with herself and no longer fretting over her team.

Hair pulled over the left side of her neck, she absentmindedly ran her fingers through the thick strands. She couldn't help feeling concerned over her dream, and why that one in particular. Sorting through everything that day, she wondered if she was supposed to be remorseful about what followed when she met with the Hokage. At the time it sounded like an honor, a mission alone at thirteen, but thinking on it after so many years, she felt a little embarrassed. Her pride had gotten the better of her, something she hadn't learned from.

She shook her head with a laugh, catching herself wishing she could remember how it felt when Kakashi would kiss her. There was no recollection of the sensation she expected to feel in her chest, no notion of what the taste of him was. She had a hunch if she had just kissed him in the café earlier that day, it would have been angry and aggressive. The thought of tumbling over the table with him, disregarding any leering eyes elicited a giggle from her. They used to have fun when they were younger, under the impression that it was love.

The water felt cold all of the sudden, unappealing to her languid muscles. Climbing out of the bath, she grabbed a towel and covered herself while walking to the changing room. Modesty wasn't her most refined quality, but she was uninterested in drawing more unpleasant glances. She toweled off in the far corner and sat down to begin the struggle of pulling on her pants. While they may not have seemed practical, they did have a good range of motion once she got them on.

Inching them up over her knees, she paused to collect herself before standing up and continuing the remaining struggle of pulling them up over her thighs then her ass. Squatting, kicking out each leg at a time, hopping up and down, rolling her hips, she was making a scene all by herself, glowering at any woman that glanced over at her and giggled. She dared them to put on spandex pants while their skin was damp. Clasping her bra then throwing on her fishnet shirt, she fastened her shuriken pouch onto her left thigh and tied her ninja band around her waist. With her _hanten_ over her shoulder, she strolled outside.

The cool evening air sent a chill down her spine, drying the perspiration forming around the edge of her hairline. Keeping her left shoulder covered by her hair, she tried to resist the urge to tie it up until she put on her _hanten_. Without the calming silence of the _onsen_ , she found her mind returning to her genin. She wondered if they were okay in the second exam. She remembered Area Forty-Four during hers, and while she trusted Lyoko could get them through the survival part, she began doubting that their teamwork would keep them alive.

Team 14 wasn't the most cohesive group in Amegakure. Lyoko had a violent temper that Tauro loved setting off, Tauro was more concerned with chasing girls, and Taika was just pleasantly oblivious to most of what was around her. They still didn't understand how to fully utilize each other's skills in combat. While they were all talented in their own right, there was something about Lyoko that set her apart. That girl had a cold streak in her that wasn't easily taught, which prompted Tanak to explain to her the art of sexuality that she had been instructed in. Lyoko had a knack for it, but Tanak felt her dream from earlier weighing heavier on her mind.

She stared up at each building she passed, curious if Kakashi was still living in the same apartment he had seven years ago. Knowing him, as she thought she still did, he wouldn't have bothered finding a new place. That would have been too much effort. But she flattered herself with thinking that he would still imagine her lying in his bed when he'd come back from long missions. Well, before they were both assigned to the same unit.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she stopped to slide into her _hanten_ , the white dragons stitched on the back glittering in the fading sunlight. Hair tied in a messy bun, she ascended to the roofs. She'd almost forgotten how beautiful Konoha was illuminated by the sunset. Hopping from rooftop to rooftop, she smiled at how her feet seemed to carry her towards his apartment. At least she hadn't forgotten that. Slowly stopping, she ducked beneath the windowsill and crawled to the opposite side.

Peering around the corner, she saw no sign of Kakashi. She pressed her fingers under the window, surprised when it gave way. Pushing it high enough up that she could crawl through, she tiptoed around the living room. His clothes were strewn about in different spots, and she laughed to think he probably didn't know what was clean or dirty with a laundry basket half full against the wall. The kitchen looked like it hadn't been used in a while, the stovetop pristine, the sink empty with the counter only occupied by a cast iron teapot she was sure he didn't use. And in his laziness he forget to turn the light off.

Her brows knitted together as she inspected the black teapot. Throat tightening, she read the poem written in gold on the right side. ' _Although I come to you constantly over the roads of dreams, those nights of love are not worth one waking touch of you'._ Tears fell on their own accord while she drowned in the memory of buying that damned teapot. She'd been in the Iron Country, accompanying a feudal lord that would have tried to give her the moon if she asked for it. But instead she just asked for that teapot.

It was a poem she liked, something she wanted Kakashi to remember every time the Hokage summoned her for a solo mission. She needed him to know he was still on her mind, no matter the circumstances she agreed to, no matter the arm she clung to, no matter the kiss from a stranger.

Carefully setting the teapot down, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sure that her mascara was smudged, but not giving a damn. It felt good to cry, especially in the emptiness of his apartment. After all this time, he kept that stupid teapot…

Ears perking at the sound of feet in the hallway, she darted for the window and flew out of it, forgoing closing it in her flustered state.

. . . .

Kakashi knew he hadn't left the window open during the day, inspecting his house for any unwelcome visitor. Walking past the kitchen with his guard at ease for not sensing anyone, he noticed his cast iron teapot was facing the wrong way, the spout pointing at the stovetop. A smile eased its way across his lips while he mused on how careless Tanak had gotten in seven years. He could still smell the faintest traces of cherry blossoms and honey from her perfume, the same one he tried to track her. Cradling the teapot in his hands, he took the lid off and stared at the dried pomegranate seeds and cranberries mixed with green tea leaves. He had kept it fresh for years in some desperate gesture, hoping she'd return and he'd find her one morning brewing her tea as she always did then asking if he wanted any despite the answer usually being 'no'.

Setting the teapot back on the counter, he trudged toward his bedroom in the back of the apartment, discarding his flak jacket and tossing it toward his other piles of strewn clothes. Hands in his pockets, he stared at his _futon_ , a disheveled muddle of a thin feathered mattress and quilted blankets. He shook his head as that sad thought crossed him, coming home from a long mission to find her curled up with a pillow clutched to her chest, the blankets wrapped around her in a cocoon. He used to just stare at her for a few minutes, reminding himself that he wasn't alone just yet, though sometimes it felt like he was without Rin and Obito. Minato always reminded him that he had Tanak, and it couldn't be all bad.

Collapsing onto his bed, he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. Just seeing her that afternoon, knowing she broke into his apartment, he was exhausted from thinking about her. Well, she had always been exhausting to deal with. Kakashi's ears rung with Minato's words ' _It can't be all bad'_ , and he tried to piece together times when it wasn't. But his most recent memories were dark from suppressing his growing jealousy for her flirtatious behavior, from being lied to about the missions she kept accepting without a team, from watching her shrink inside herself until sweet, innocent affections were replaced by fierce, passionate misunderstanding.

He remembered when she shattered the vase of flowers he had bought her once she came home. Just asking if her mission was a success set her off, and she went on a rampage about how it wasn't his concern and the Hokage ordered her to not speak about it. It wasn't until later that he realized Tanak was bottling it up because she thought the truth would hurt him more. He would have taken that over fighting her the day she left.

Telling himself 'what if' for years didn't soften the blow, and he wanted to be angry at the Hokage, but he kept reminding himself that Tanak took those missions with that ugly pride of hers that thrived on feeling valuable. He figured he didn't tell her enough times that he loved her.

Sleep wasn't coming any sooner with his mind wandering a thousand different places involving Tanak. Damn woman could keep him up all night with just the inclination that she had been in his apartment. Taking out his book, _Icha Icha Paradise_ , he hoped it was a decent way to distract himself despite the book's contents bringing her naked body into mind. At least those memories were happy in their own way, though it reminded him that it had been a while since he'd enjoyed such frivolities.

When he read the same sentence three times, he threw his book aside and turned over onto his stomach to bury his face in his pillow. It was useless. She had ruined his night. If he were his crazy, naïve young self he would have gone to find her to put his emotions at ease, but he resigned himself to knowing it would be a restless night ahead.

" _Did you hear about Kakashi-kun?"_

 _"He was promoted to the jōnin rank already!"_

 _"He's so cool."_

 _"And dreamy!"_

 _"He used to sit next to me in class."_

 _"Rin-chan is so lucky she's on his team!"_

 _It didn't surprised him that the young kunoichi in Konoha talked about him in such high regard, and he tried not to let it get to his head, but he liked knowing his accomplishments were recognized. Perched on a_ senbei _shop rooftop, he grinned when he saw a girl with long, pearly white hair shove past the kunoichi who had been gossiping about him. Haughty and high maintenance, his least favorite qualities in a person, though he tolerated it with her for an unknown reason he would figure out when he was older._

 _Hopping down from the rooftop, Kakashi strolled up beside her, "Pissing off your fellow kunoichi." He smirked when she glanced at him, "Pleasant as usual, Tanak-chan."_

 _"You know how much I_ love _hearing other girls talk about you." She tossed her hair over her shoulder, the sun glinting off its pearly sheen, "Besides, you weren't the_ only _one promoted to jōnin."_

 _"So_ that's _what you're bitter about."_

 _Tanak waved her hand dismissively, "Because I'm a girl, I don't get nearly the attention." Kakashi stopped walking, letting her continue sashaying ahead of him. When she glanced over her shoulder and caught him looking at her butt, she turned red with anger, "You're not helping!"_

 _"I was proving a point." He held his hands up as a sign of peace before she decided to punch him as she stomped his way, "You get plenty of attention for other things."_

 _That brought a sneaky grin across her face while she dragged a finger along his jaw, sweeping under his chin, "Things like what, Kakashi-kun?"_

 _His face flushed with heat, "Just…other things."_

 _She winked at him while tapping his nose, "You don't have to be shy."_

 _"You already know you're pretty."_

 _"Doesn't mean you can't compliment me."_

 _"Your ego doesn't need that."_

 _She shoved him aside, trudging down the road in a less than feminine way. Kakashi rolled his eyes, already exhausted from dealing with her. Her snippy little attitude and quick temper wasn't worth tolerating most days, yet there he was making up his mind to go after her._

 _"Your temper can be kind of cute sometimes." Tanak refused to look over at him he caught up to her, tossing her head so her bangs swept over her eyes and obscured him further from view. Kakashi sighed, at a loss for how to win her back, "I'm trying to give you a compliment."_

 _"Then try again," she scoffed._

 _"You're being a brat."_

 _"Then stop following me."_

 _Kakashi threw his arms up in frustration while Tanak continued along her rampaged path toward the Naka River. When he first met her, he went home to tell his father that he met the most annoying girl, and he kind of liked her. He wanted nothing more than to talk to him and ask him why at thirteen he still had a crush on her. Deciding he didn't want to lose her just yet, Kakashi started into a half jog to catch up to where to she was sitting on the dock with her feet dangling over the water._

 _As he went to sit beside her, she hissed, "Who said I wanted you sitting next to me?"_

 _"I know that if I try to leave you'll throw a fit." Hanging his feet over the edge, he watched the water slosh around the dock's wooden legs, "How about you just tell me what you want from me?" Her pretty smile returned, the first thing he had noticed about her when they were at the Academy. If he could get her to laugh then he'd consider his day having ended well. He tucked her bangs behind her ear, quickly withdrawing his hand as he began to blush, "That's better…"_

 _"Meaning?"_

 _"I can see your face."_

 _"So you like my face?"_

 _"You know I think you're pretty."_

 _"I guess so…" She sighed heavily, leaning over to prop her elbows on her thighs and hold her chin in her hands, "You asked me what I wanted from you." Kakashi raised a brow, ears peaking to hear her answer, "And it's something small, but it would mean a lot."_

 _"What is it?"_

 _"A kiss."_

 _His face flushed red, and he turned his eyes to his feet, "Um…I've never kissed a girl."_

 _"Would be the first for both of us!"_

 _"You haven't kissed anyone before?"_

 _Her eyes narrowed into a fierce glare, "You seem surprised by that."_

 _"You're so flirty, so yeah, I kinda figured you would've already had your first kiss," Kakashi snapped._

 _"Here's a news flash for you, Idiot, I've been saving my kiss for you!"_

 _He wasn't sure his face could have gotten any hotter, especially seeing her in the sunset's glow that haloed her. Her eyes flickered blue then green like the water rocking beneath them, her hair shimmering like finely spun silk, her pink lips soft like cherry blossom petals. Shaking his head, he looked left and right to assure no one was around, something that didn't go unnoticed by Tanak._

 _"Scared someone will see your face?" she sneered._

 _"How can you be sure you'll even like my face?" he retorted._

 _Tanak turned to him, crawling closer on her hands and knees, exposing a glimpse of cleavage from her v-neck shirt beneath her chūnin vest. Her nose brushed his while she reached to pull his mask down, breath warm on his cheeks, "Your father was a handsome man. I have a hunch you got his looks."_

 _Kakashi's body shook while she tugged his mask down. He suddenly became self-conscious, being that close to kissing who his classmates considered the most beautiful kunoichi in the village. As if he'd disagree with that, but he didn't want to disappoint her. Closing his eyes, he leaned up and earnestly pressed his lips against hers. Everything felt rigid at first, his muscles taut and his mouth doing nothing more than touching hers. When she eased herself to sit back on her legs, he found himself afraid to lose that warm sensation racing through his chest. ._

 _He reached up and wove his fingers through the thick strands of her hair, his lips relaxing when it finally hit him how soft hers were. There was a faint taste from her, something like strawberries and whipped cream, sugary sweetness that he wanted more of. Head tilting to the side to find every inch of her mouth, his body shuttered when her tongue flickered out and licked his bottom lip. He pulled back, unsure how to follow up something that made his heart leap, but was immediately embarrassed to hear her girlish laughter._

 _"That bad, huh?" he sulked._

 _Tanak shook her head, "Not at all! I just can't believe you've never kissed anyone."_

 _"Meaning?"_

 _"You're pretty good."_

 _"So are you."_

 _Tanak opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of her name being called broke the infatuated trance that had glossed over her face. Kakashi regained his senses and pulled his mask back up while Tanak rolled her eyes at the older woman walking down the street._

 _"Tanak! Tanak!"_

 _She wrinkled her nose, "The old hag screeches like hawks squabbling over prey…"_

 _Kakashi grinned while standing and offering his hand to her, "You should probably get going."_

 _Taking his hand, she let him pull her to her feet. Hearing her name again, she shouted, "Be right there, Chiasa-san!" She smiled at Kakashi, "Thank you."_

 _"Guess I wouldn't mind doing that again," he mumbled, face beaming red._

 _"Me too." She went to leave, but he still held her hand. He reached out to tuck her bangs back behind her ear, the sensation of his fingers brushing her cheek turning her face scarlet. Laughing unsurely, she said, "Better?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _She waved goodbye, grudgingly running over to Chiasa, her guardian. Standing by himself on the dock, he tried to ignore his stinging heart sinking in his chest. Maybe that was how it felt to care about someone? But he didn't want to read much into it. At least not until he knew if she felt the same way._


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: If You Rush, You'll Go Around in Circles**

Lyoko supported the mortar in her palm while grinding the bright purple, Monkshood leaves and petals with her pestle, careful not to let any of the liquid splash out. She'd need some of the toxin to procure an antidote, just in case one of her teammates accidently came in contact with the poison. It could be absorbed through the skin, an excruciatingly slow death between two and six hours, but if introduced to the bloodstream could kill in thirty minutes. The poison inside, aconitine, had the capability to cause tingling then numbness as it crawled up the body, and eventually paralysis of the respiratory system and heart.

She poured the mixture of crushed leaves and petals onto the netted trap she had laid, a metal infused thread that was near impossible to cut apart. A liquid residue was left in her mortar, but she was distracted by the stillness of the forest. A few birds chirping, the trickling of the river beside their camp, the scampering of insects. She turned back to her stoop on a rock near the shore, digging a pipette out of Taika's backpack to suck up the remaining residue from the Monkshood. Squeezing it into an empty vial, she capped the toxin before taking another bowl and filling it with water.

She washed her mortar and pestle away from her camp, knowing even the watered down remnants could cause illness. Rolling out a scroll she kept in her kimono, she sealed away her materials to keep them from contaminating anything else. Her ears perked at a rustling sound, releasing a kunai from her right sleeve and gripping the hilt tightly, but she felt Taika's familiar presence.

"Looks like we're safe for now." Taika adjusted her ninja band so that her bangs weren't hanging over her eyes, "No one within a half mile radius north or west."

"What's taking Tauro so long?" Lyoko muttered, creeping back around to their small camp, "That's unlike him."

Taika puffed her chest out, "I'm just faster than he is."

Eyes darting over the expanse of shrubberies and trees, she blocked out the sound of the river water while searching for any potential enemies. Hearing the rustle of a bush, she went to throw her kunai but saw Tauro holding his arms up at the last second. She sighed with relief, "What took you so long?"

"I thought I was being followed so I had to hide for a bit." Tauro began walking around their small encampment, "But it looks like there's no one south or east of us."

"There's still the issue of you thinking you were being followed."

"I'd be surprised if that many teams would try to attack the first day."

"Isn't that _our_ plan?" Taika asked, twisting on her canteen cap that she had just filled.

"Our plan is to be patient." Lyoko's ears perked again, but she pretended to have not noticed, "And let someone else make the error."

Tauro stretched his arms over his head, a habit Lyoko found irritating because she figured he was just trying to show off his biceps. He kept circling around absentmindedly until Taika launched herself at him and knocked him backward into the ground. They landed with a thud, Tauro shouting, "What was that for?!"

"You almost stepped in that!" Taika wailed, pointing at Lyoko's trap

Tauro's eyes were wide as he stood, ready to throttle his teammate that sat on her rock pedestal while crushing herbs between her fingers into a thin vial, "Why didn't you warn me?!"

"If you were a chūnin level shinobi you would have seen it," she replied matter-of-factly.

He was tempted to grab her by her throat to get to her to look him in the eye, "You were willing to risk poisoning me to get your snarky point across!"

"Relax, I'm making an antidote as we speak," she cooed.

"How can I trust that you would even use it on me-?"

Tauro flinched as a kunai zipped past his cheek, but was intercepted by Taika who darted between them. She caught the blade in her hand and sent it hurtling back into the trees, blood dripping from her palm onto the ground at Tauro's feet. He heard an agonized cry as a Konoha genin fell from his perch on a branch and was suspended into the air, trapped in the net where Lyoko had spread her Monkshood poison. The genin coughed, trying to yank the kunai out of his chest, but the poison was numbing his muscles, feeding on the open wound.

"Sharp reflexes as usual, Taika." Lyoko capped the vial she was working on, reaching into Taika's backpack to unravel a set of bandages. Gesturing for Taika's hand, Lyoko wrapped it tightly to staunch the bleeding, "I think we found who was following you, Tauro."

Taika grimaced when glancing at the Konoha boy who had passed out, "Is he dead?"

"Should be in the next thirty minutes." Lyoko tied the bandage off, "Your hitting him with the kunai will make his death quicker."

Tauro pulled his staff off his belt, expending a bit of chakra to extend it into a long, thin rokushakubō. Slamming it into the ground, the earth shaking through the roots of the tree where their assailant had been hiding, he grinned to hear the rustling of branches as two more Konoha genin dropped down, "Any more traps I should be aware of, Lyoko?"

"Not yet." Lyoko grinned, drawing her laitō, but Taika covered her hand.

"We'll take care of these two." Taika shrugged out of her vest, rolling her shoulders to loosen them up. She bounced on her toes as if waiting for Lyoko to say the word to release her.

Lyoko folded the ornamental piece of clothing on her lap while sitting down, "Have at it."

Taika charged the one on the right, sweeping around each shuriken he threw in an effort to slow her down. She was a white and blue whirl, spinning around his desperate swing before jamming her fist into his stomach to drive him into the tree trunk. Dodging his kunai swung at her stomach, Taika dropped into a backbend and landed a kick to his jaw. Springing into a backflip, she crouched low in her fighting stance while curling her fingers to resemble claws. The Konoha genin launched himself at her, his fist knocked aside by her hand while she sidestepped him. Planting her left foot, she swung her right leg in a high arc before slamming it into his back. Bone crunched, his spine giving way while he screamed. He sputtered blood while she grabbed him by the back of his shirt and drove her knee into his face. His nose snapped under the impact, leaving his face a mess of snot and gore.

Tauro swung his staff at each shuriken thrown at him, sending them flying back at the last Konoha genin. Finishing a full swing with his pole resting on his shoulder, his face drooped with disappointment to see that he had missed his opponent's shoulder wide to the left. His rokushakubō clattered to the ground as he tried to dodge the expanse of flames hurtling toward him. Cursing loudly, he quickly channeled his chakra into his hands. Palms clapping together, a gust of wind rushed the Konoha genin and knocked him over in the midst of his attack. Tauro rolled to the side as three kunai missed him, scrambling to grab his staff until he was tackled. Tauro recoiled from the first punch to his jaw before kicking the genin off. On his feet, he grabbed his rokushakubō with chakra flowing through his hands and swung it as hard as he could, cracking something in his assailant's neck. Eyes wide as the boy hit the ground, it took him a few seconds to register that he had killed him.

"I've got the scroll!" Taika skipped up next to him, punching his shoulder, "You alright?"

He shook his sweaty hair out of his eyes, "Yeah. I'm good."

Taika waved the earth scroll in Lyoko's direction, "Now, all that's left is to make it to the tower."

"We're going to need to set up camp somewhere else." Lyoko tiptoed over to the genin Taika fought, who was knocked out cold with his nose askew and bloody. Taking out her laitō blade, she slid it into his ribcage, feeling his chakra drain through her sword as it pierced his heart, "We'll stay close to the stream."

Taika was examining her blue harem pants stained on the right leg, "I got blood all over me…"

Lyoko rolled her eyes, "Get used to it. Because it's about to get harder from here on out."

"We should get moving soon." Tauro hooked the band of his staff onto his belt, having shrunk it back to size, "What's our plan to reach the tower?"

Lyoko tossed Taika her vest, "We need to take it slowly. If we're hasty, we'll get caught."

"But if we take too long we'll run into all the teams that didn't get a scroll and are ambushing by the tower on the last day," Tauro replied.

Lyoko stared at him, brow knitting as she tried to figure out how he would know that. None of them had ever competed in the Chunin Exam. While it logically made sense, there was never a mention from the examiners that they would need to get to the tower before the last day…

"We will aim to get there by the third day, fourth at the latest." Lyoko dug out two tiny auto-injectors from her obi sash, "I made one for each of you. Should you come in contact with Monkshood..." She pointed at the purple petals poking out of the net that was no longer moving, "…this will save you. Just stick it anywhere, but if you want the effect to be instantaneous then try to get close to a vein."

Tauro slipped it into his pocket, "How considerate of you…?"

"Knowing you, I'll have to make an extra batch." Lyoko turned on her heel and leapt into the nearest tree with her teammates following, "We'll go until night. Once we make camp, I'll take the first watch since you two will be exhausted from your fight."

"Tauro might be exhausted, but I could do this all day!" Taika chirped, "You looked like you were having trouble with that Konoha genin."

Tauro scoffed, "I just didn't want the fight to end so quickly."

Taika stuck her tongue out at him, but her teasing was interrupted when Lyoko darted off into the tree canopy. Sprinting after her, Taika took lead as she usually did, keeping her ears and eyes sharp for any potential threats.

The night came faster than Lyoko expected, and she slowed down Taika with a whistle before dropping down near the river shore. Eyes panning over the area for anything that would suggest an enemy nearby, she watched Tauro rifling through the bushes as if looking for something. His behavior was bothering her, despite the usual tics in his personality. It didn't seem natural. When he caught her staring, she rolled her eyes and told him that his efforts to locate a potential enemy were disruptive.

Glancing over the various foliage surrounding them, she found more Monkshood growing along tree roots. She pulled her scroll from her kimono to summon her mortar and pestle, keening her ears to overhear Tauro and Taika's conversation. If she was going to make a move against him, she needed to be sure that he was an imposter. There wasn't any logic behind a genin team other than one from Amegakure studying him long enough to impersonate him so well. But then there was the issue of that person having a wind release like Tauro.

 _Maybe I'm just looking for trouble?_ She shook her head while severing the roots of the Monkshood with a kunai and letting the petals fall into her mortar. She was straining to find a difference in him while she ground the poisonous plant, thinking through his fight. Tauro's jutsu was recognizable, one she had seen frequently in combat. But the more she ran through it in her head, she had never seen him drop his staff in a battle, even when he was dodging an attack. That was a mistake someone without stick fighting experience would make...

She continued mashing the petals beneath her pestle, thinking through how she could kill the imposter. The next problem would be finding Tauro as they had already moved far from their first camp. Asking for Taika to lay out another net trap, she stared at the poisonous concoction in her mortar. She could hardly imagine losing a teammate, but she reminded herself that Tauro was a formidable fighter and wouldn't stay captured for long. Deciding she needed to act fast, she tossed the monkshood over the net as Taika began carefully hiding it beneath the sand. She sealed her tools back into her scroll before tucking it inside her kimono.

Glancing over her shoulder, she made up her mind to use what her sensei had taught her regarding the opposite gender. If it was any of the genin that passed the first exam, she was confident her face would lull him away long enough to reveal his identity. She just wanted to keep Taika out of it in case the enemy overwhelmed her, that way she would have time to escape with the scrolls.

"Tauro." Lyoko gestured up the shore, "I want to make sure there's no one up ahead."

Tauro glowered at her, "Afraid to walk in the dark by yourself?"

"Will you just come with me?" she growled in irritation. Whoever the imposter was, he was doing a great job of annoying her like Tauro did…

"Fine." Tauro glanced at Taika, "Yell if you're in trouble."

"Just don't be gone too long!" Taika replied.

Lyoko steadied her breathing as he followed her down the river's shore. Needing to close the distance between them, she feigned her ankle giving out and stumbled against him. His arm swinging around her waist caught her and she kept her eyes down as if hiding a blush. When he began to laugh, she heard a different note in his voice, one that was much deeper than his usual tenor.

"Can't resist me now, huh?" he teased.

Lyoko pushed herself away, turning her nose up in the air, "Don't read into things. I tripped."

"Yeah…into my arms." His eyes gave her a once over, but his tongue running over his top lip was something she had never seen.

Opening her parasol, she hid her face even further, coyly ignoring him while peering around the trees and bushes, "In what world could you _ever_ land a girl like me?"

"You've been playing hard to get since we met." Tauro leaned against the nearest tree trunk, eyeing the innocent bit of cleavage that showed beneath her kimono, "And now that we've got a little time alone…"

Lyoko stood up taller, offering a demure smile while closing her parasol. She tried to move around him, but his arm came out to halt her, knocking her parasol from her hand. Swallowing a momentary lapse of fear, her smile turned to a twisted grin while she ran her hand over his arm. Fingertips caressing his neck before sliding beneath his chin, she stood up on her toes with her face inches from his.

"We should probably get back to Taika," Lyoko muttered, lips ghosting over his.

His hand slid down her shoulder to her waist, gripping her hip tightly to see if she flinched, but she stood her ground, "We've got time for a little something."

She lifted a curious brow, "What do you have in mind?"

"I'd like to steal your first kiss."

Her heart thundered in her ears, muting any sound that would warn her she was in danger. She had one gamble as she let her arms fall down to his waist, tracing the edge of his pants and tugging up his shirt. Slowly dropping to one knee then the other, she winked at him while her hand ran over his member. There was only one time Tanak mentioned fellatio to her, but all she needed to do was distract him long enough to unsheathe her laitō at her feet.

"I have something else I'd like to try with you," she mused, hands sliding over his thighs and gently tugging the fabric of his pants.

"That's a dangerous idea, Baby Girl."

 _Baby girl? In what world is that an endearing name?_ She was looking forward to stabbing the bastard once she had the chance. Grabbing her parasol, she swung her arm up underneath his chin, the blade sliding out and slicing open his chest. Watching his body slump against the tree trunk, she listened to the maniacal laughter that split Tauro's face into a twisted smile as he peeled apart skin to reveal a much older man standing before her.

Eyes wide, she tumbled backward until her knees buckled and she hit the ground. She blinked a few times to assure herself she was looking at a human and not a snake. His eyes were gold with black slits for pupils, rimmed by purple markings, staring at her in amusement. High cheekbones, sharp beneath his pallid skin, twitched as he smirked and licked his lips, the same way she had seen earlier. Shaking her head several times, she tried to speak, but the words were caught in her throat.

"You're definitely Tanak's pupil…" he hummed.

"Y-You're th-the one…" Lyoko's body began to shake involuntarily, "You gave my sensei that-"

"I had almost hoped you wouldn't have tried killing me so quickly." He grinned at the blush that consumed her pale face, "I haven't seen such promising beauty since Tanak."

Lyoko clutched the hilt of her laitō, "Who are you?"

"A collector of rarejewels such as yourself." When Lyoko snorted at that, he leveled his gold eyed gaze on her, "Not good enough of an answer?"

"Don't treat me like a child. I know a _nukenin_ when I see one."

"That's a hasty assumption, Baby Girl."

"You're not wearing a ninja band." Lyoko rose to her feet, one leg then the other, wavering a bit, "Tell me where Tauro is!"

He laughed at her again, the sound sending shivers down her spine, "A bit of a temper? How typicalof an Ame genin."

She pointed her laitō blade at him, as if that could keep him at a distance, "You're one of the Sannin."

"You think threatening me is a wise decision?" He stepped closer to her until the tip of her blade was pressed to his stomach, "Your courage is admirable, but misplaced. I could easily kill you."

Lyoko dug the point of her sword into his tunic, "Then get it over with."

Shrugging, he began circling around her, predatory eyes ravaging her body until an involuntary shutter rolled down her spine. His hand brushed her arm, legs bumping the closer he stepped. She almost dropped her sword when he lifted thin strands of her hair and smelled her fading lotus perfume, "I have no interest in killing you, Lyoko-chan."

"How do you know my name?" she muttered, staring up at him.

"I suppose Tanak never had a reason to divulge our relationship. How hurtful." He twirled that strand around his fingers, "I've had my eye on you and your teammates for quite some time."

Lyoko began to wonder if he was one of her sensei's "missions", but she couldn't convince herself that Tanak would do anything with someone who looked half human, "What do you want?"

He pretended to think on that, his fingertips slithering down her neck to her prominent collarbones, "I'm actually not here for you. Not yet at least." She cowered away from him when his fingers slipped across the top of her left breast. He laughed darkly, licking his lips, "Tanak was much less skittish, though I suppose she had more practice."

Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as it raced through her mind that she was trapped. Taika was alone. And Tauro was possibly in danger. Or worse. Squinting her eyes shut, she tried to think through any part of her training that could help her escape. When he reached out and touched her chin, she summoned strength to her arms and lashed out with her laitō. But she only cut a bit of his hair as he dodged it. She stood up taller, sword at her side, "If you won't tell me what you've done with Tauro, then I'll just have to beat it out of you."

"That won't be necessary, Lyoko-chan." He leaned his back against a tree, "My name is Orochimaru. I have interest in a particular genin from Konoha, but don't think I won't be keeping my eye on you." He gave her a once over and laughed at her perturbed expression, "Tauro-kun isn't far west from here, but I'm sure he's left to find you and Taika-chan." She gave him as tough a glare as she could muster, not satisfied by his reply. Orochimaru shrugged, "Did I forget to answer something?"

Lyoko sheathed her blade back into her parasol, "I suspect this won't be the last time I see you."

"If you don't interfere with my plans, then you won't have to ever see me again," Orochimaru mused.

"Then stay away from my teammates." Lyoko turned on her heel, setting her parasol on her shoulder, "Or I'll be forced to kill you."

A wide grin spread across his face as she started walking down the shoreline, "I would enjoy seeing you try…"

Starting into a run, she skidded into the clearing while turning her head frantically to find Taika. She almost screamed out a stream of curses to see that her teammate was gone. With hardly any light, the moon hidden by the tree canopy, she was fucked if she got ambushed. Not eager to rush into trouble, she sat down on the nearest rock and faced the water. The river rippling, ebbing slowly, calmed her while she tried to think through her next course of action. Taika could have gone anywhere, and Tauro had been west of her current location.

Well, if Orochimaru was telling the truth.

A twig snapped behind her, but she didn't turn around immediately. Hand clasping the hilt of her blade, she listened for the first hesitant footstep before spinning around, laitō nearly missing the neck of the boy behind her. He stumbled backward, hitting the ground with a thud. Her eyes widened and she dropped her sword to throw her arms around him in a hug.

Tauro unsurely welcomed her embrace, one arm coming around her shoulders while the other held him up on the ground, "This is awkward."

She sat up and punched him in the chest, cheeks tinted red, "Asshole. I was worried about you!"

"Which is _so_ unlike you." He pressed his hand to her head, "You sure you're feeling alright?"

She reeled back to punch him again, but his laughter, that boisterous tenor, made her eyes cloud with tears, "Yeah. I'm fine."

Tauro stood up, offering his hand to her, "Don't be getting all sentimental on me! Wouldn't want to change our team dynamic _too_ much."

On her feet, Lyoko gestured for him to follow her deeper into the forest, figuring Taika had fled there to hide. They shoved through bushes and crept around tree roots, not daring to call out for their missing teammate.

"So how did you find me?" Lyoko asked.

Tauro ducked under a low tree branch, "You may want to consider not wearing perfume. At least, not in a jungle where the lotus flower isn't very common."

Her face beamed red, "Oh. Yeah. I'll fix that."

"But it is a nice smell." Tauro nudged her with his shoulder, flashing that toothy smile of his.

Trekking through what felt like miles of forest floor, Lyoko began to wonder if someone had taken Taika. Then there was the issue that they were in foreign territory. And Taika didn't have a distinct smell. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure Taika ever wore perfume…

Ascending into the trees, she searched through the highest branches to no avail. With her feet dangling, she sat down and rubbed her eyes that itched from exhaustion. When her vision refocused, she raised a brow at what she thought were yellow eyes looking at her. Blinking a couple times, her face blanched as those yellow eyes were still across from her and joined by a low growl. She screamed as a tiger's face came into view, inches from hers. Plummeting backwards out of the tree, she braced herself through the fall, branches and bark tearing at her kimono and skin. Instead of hitting hard ground, she landed in Tauro's open arms, though it sent them tumbling over.

Lying on the ground together, they both looked up at the tiger that was slowly pouncing from branch to branch, looming over them. Lyoko fumbled to get to her feet, nearly tripping on the torn bottom of her kimono. Tauro remained sitting, jaw dropped in wonder at the massive size of the animal.

"Nice kitty…" he murmured.

"Do you think it ate Taika?"

"Can't imagine it wanted something so skinny…"

When it made its last leap, Lyoko dove into Tauro's arms with a scream, eyes shut tightly. She tucked her head against his chest while Tauro turned his back to take the brunt of the attack. Both shaking, they looked up to see the tiger on the opposite side of them, lying down in front of an auburn haired girl.

"Taika!" Lyoko shouted.

"Meet my new friend!" Taika scratched the tiger behind the ears, eliciting a purr loud enough to shake the ground, "When you didn't come back, I went to hide, and ran into this little guy."

Tauro sighed with relief, "Wouldn't exactly call him little…"

"You two look comfortable," Taika sniggered.

Lyoko and Tauro exchanged a glance, realizing they were still clinging to one another. Gently pushing the other back as they stood, both cleared their throats and stared off in different directions. Tauro scratched the back of his head while whistling, Lyoko examining her torn kimono to hide her blush.

"We were just…Well, you know how it is…when you get…" Tauro gave up on explaining it, running his fingers through his hair one more time.

"What took you so long to inspect up the river?" Taika asked, climbing out from behind the bushes.

Lyoko hesitated, unsure how much she wanted to tell them, "The 'Tauro' that was with us wasn't real. Someone used Henge no Jutsu." _A powerful one that didn't release when he was injured…_

"How did you figure it out?"

"I realized he dropped his staff in his fight with that Konoha genin." Lyoko was still bothered that Orochimaru so perfectly mimicked Tauro's personality tics, "The real Tauro would have never made such a mistake when dodging an attack."

"Ever perceptive," Tauro laughed.

"We're lucky he didn't attack us."

"Just have to be more careful from now on."

Taika smiled while cozying herself up against the stomach of her tiger "friend", "We'll be safe tonight! Koneko will protect us."

"You've named it…?" Tauro groaned.

Taika could amaze her sometimes, enough to make her smile. Lyoko plopped down onto the ground, leaning up against the nearest tree, "You two get some sleep. As agreed earlier, I'll take the first shift."

Taika gave no argument, snuggling with Koneko, who was purring loudly. Tauro gave Lyoko a sidelong glance while walking over and sitting beside her, but she pretended not to notice. She began fidgeting with the torn edge of her kimono, tugging out the silk strands that wove into flowers. It was enough to keep her mind at ease while she mulled over meeting Orochimaru.

A Sannin running around in the Chūnin Exam… It would take her a while to figure out who in Konoha he was after, but she was worried Tanak-sensei would be in danger.

' _What is that, Tanak-sensei?'_

' _Nothing. We need to move on with your lesson-'_

' _I know a seal when I see one. Stop treating me like a child.'_

' _You're perceptive, Lyoko-chan. That could get you killed someday.'_

' _Then tell me how not to get killed.'_

' _If you ever meet a man with skin as pale as a white snake…run for it. You'll never survive.'_

"You know you don't have to act all tough," Tauro whispered, breaking her trance.

Lyoko turned her gaze to the stars, pushing her memory aside to refocus on the darkness surrounding her and the comfort of Tauro beside her, "I just want to keep an eye on you two for a bit."

"What happened wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have suggested we split up."

"As shinobi, if we can't take care ourselves then we aren't worth having on a team." Tauro nudged her, "I wasn't sharp and got myself knocked out. I'm lucky to be alive, but that has nothing to do with your leadership."

Lyoko still wouldn't look at him, afraid that if she did she'd be struck by the impulse to cry, "I always pretend to not care what happens to you two, but realizing that I may have truly been alone in this place..." She paused to collect herself, "I'll protect you two no matter what."

Tauro smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he saw the first tear trickle down her cheek. She wanted to tell him it wasn't just her fear of losing them that was making her emotional, but couldn't speak up. He tugged her closer until she rested her head on his shoulder, "I take back my earlier statement. I like this sentimental side of you."

She shook her head with a laugh, "Shut up."

"You look exhausted, so why don't you close your eyes for a bit?" Tauro waited for her protest, but she just snuggled up to him, "I've got the first shift."

"Thank you, Tauro."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: An Accidental Glory**

Eyes squinting as sunlight washed over her face, she slowly pushed herself off the ground while brushing dirt from her cheek. She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, adjusting to the light and shaking off her coma sleep. Whenever Tauro had left, she hadn't a clue. She scanned the open jungle floor, relieved to see him tentatively petting Koneko with Taika's enthusiastic instruction. Stretching her arms above her head, she wandered over to them, though nearly tripped on the edge of her torn kimono.

"Good morning!" Taika cheered.

"How long did I sleep?" Lyoko muttered.

"Slept soundly through the night." Tauro had finally relaxed and Koneko nudged him in the stomach with his head to get him to keep scratching his ears, "But don't worry, it's still early morning."

Lyoko took a kunai out of her sleeve, kneeling down to cut the bottom of her kimono so that it came up to her knees. Tossing the excess silk aside, she grimaced at the paleness of her legs, "We should get moving."

Tauro handed her parasol to her, "Following you."

As Lyoko went to jump into the shortest tree, she caught Taika out of the corner of her eye sitting atop Koneko, "You're actually serious about keeping him?"

"Yep!" Taika wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, "We'll be just below you guys!"

Deciding she didn't have a reason to argue, she gestured to the tree nearest them and set off into it with Tauro at her side. She kept glancing at the blur of blue and orange beneath her as Koneko picked up speed. Taika was fast by herself, and probably the only one who could keep up with the tiger, but Lyoko did her best. Almost losing her footing a couple times, she heard Tauro snickering beside her.

"Shut up, Tauro."

"I think it's because you never show your ankles." He laughed, a bit too loudly, as she scowled and her face turned red, "You're not used to the freedom of a longer stride!"

"You know, I'm starting to wish you hadn't found me the other night."

"You don't mean that."

Lyoko couldn't keep a straight face, "I guess you're worth keeping around."

"About time I got some gratitude from you-"

Tauro launched himself at Lyoko, knocking her out of the trees as a windmill shuriken came spinning at her blind spot. The landing knocked the wind out of them, both rolling over to kneel in the grass. Lyoko drew her laitō, holding it in a reverse grip with the blade pointing at her feet.

"Where did it come from?" Lyoko whispered.

"Southwest." Tauro held his staff, extending it into a rokushakubō, "Can't be far. That shuriken was coming fast."

Eyes widening, Lyoko frantically looked left and right, "Where's Taika?"

They both flinched as the earth shook, Koneko pouncing out of the bushes with Taika running behind him. Three Amegakure genin were behind her, throwing kunai to keep her retreating. Lyoko raced forward, sending chakra through to her parasol as she opened it. Sliding between Taika and the Amegakure team, she ducked beneath the oilpaper canopy and spun it in her hand, repelling the kunai barrage.

"Saito Lyoko." The tallest stepped forward, hand rested on the sword hilt at his hip, "It's an honor to see you on the defensive."

Lyoko stood, pulling her shoulders back while spinning her blade and holding it out between them, "That honor is reserved for a worthy opponent, Ueda Eiji."

Eiji scowled, drawing his sword quickly, though Lyoko didn't flinch, wearing her bored expression. He growled in irritation, "Think you're still above me?"

"The three of you don't hold a candle to what I'm capable of." Lyoko crouched lower, parasol over her shoulder and her laitō across her chest, "So whichever of you wants to die first…" She sprinted forward, catching Eiji across the cheek with her first strike, dodging out of his reach with a grin, "…let's dance."

He brought a hand to his face, assessing the depth of his cut, grimacing at the blood on his fingertips, "Stupid bitch."

Lyoko spun around when she heard Taika scream. Three more genin appeared, rebreathers on their faces to signify their Amegakure affiliation. _An ambush!_ She ducked beneath Eiji's sword, reversing her grip on her laitō and slicing up at his thighs. Her blade cut through flesh, but not deep enough to cripple him. Spinning her parasol between them, backing him up, she swung her leg out and connected with his forearm to send him skidding across the ground.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Koneko swipe his large paws at the other three Amegakure genin, keeping Taika behind his hulking body. Lyoko caught Eiji's attack, laitō held behind her head and deflecting his sword aimed at her neck. Pushing against him to throw him off balance, she recoiled from the punch he landed against her jaw. The faintest taste of blood in her mouth, she wiped away the tiny smudge with the back of her hand. Her glare darkened, brows knitted.

Flipping through the dragon, tiger and hare hand seals, she spouted water from her mouth that poured down on Eiji as she leapt into the air. Completing a backflip, she formed the seals boar, dog, and ram to conjure water that swirled fast in her palm. She threw it at Eiji as he stood, the force tossing him in the air. As he started falling to the ground, Lyoko launched herself at him and drove her blade through his chest, the tip escaping cleanly out his back. Blood dripped down the hilt, warm and wet against her skin. She landed on him, feet planted on his waist while she yanked her sword out.

She blocked his teammate's attack with her laitō, crouching to catch his unbalanced body against her back and throwing him over her shoulder. Leaving him on the ground, she raced to interfere in Taika's battle, but a water clone intercepted her, which she sliced through. Forced to turn back around, she narrowly dodged the three shuriken aimed for her face. Flinching from the scratch on her cheek, she crouched low and swung her leg out, smashing her assailant's ankles. Standing over him, she buried her heel into his face, his nose crunching beneath her foot. But he grabbed her leg and threw her in a fit of strength.

Tauro's arm caught and steadied her before dispelling his chakra through his staff to split it into two tambō, "Tell Taika to get out of here!"

Lyoko sprinted over to where Taika landed punches and kicks to keep the other Amegakure team at bay. Flipping through the boar, dog, and ram seals again, she threw another swirling water ball that enlarged as it swept across all three attacking genin. Following it up with dragon, tiger, and hare, water gushed out of her mouth and further pushed them back. She stood before the second set of Amegakure genin and closed her parasol, "So, you decided to team up to take us out? Explain to me how you would have split the spoils of victory?"

"All that mattered was eliminating your team." One of the boys drew two kunai into his hands, "The scrolls weren't the prize."

Lyoko's brow furrowed, "Weren't…?"

The boy looked over at where Eiji's body lay still on the ground, "Since he's dead, there's no agreement."

"Then I'll give you the chance to escape while I'm still feeling merciful," Lyoko hissed.

"You can't take on all three of us!"

"I like my odds." Lyoko grinned as Taika stepped up beside her, cracking her knuckles.

Taika zipped forward, driving the one on the left away from his two teammates with several quick punches. Dancing away from his kunai swings, she shifted her hips and right leg a step behind her. Weight transferred and momentum built, she slammed her foot into his side. His body spiraled into the dirt, but as he stood, she launched herself into a whirl of somersaults before slamming her feet into his chest.

Leaving him to his most likely broken ribcage, Taika whistled for Koneko as she watched Lyoko, who furiously swung a series of under and upper cuts to keep her opponents circling her. Taika braced herself as Koneko barreled into the genin charging for Lyoko's blind spot.

Lyoko turned around, startled by the hulking tiger behind her. Teeth gritting, she cursed herself for losing focus while catching a knife across her shoulder. She swung her parasol to force her attacker backwards and lunged forward, her laitō slicing through his rebreather to leave it in half on the ground. Disappointed she didn't cut skin, she stood up taller as Taika leapt off Koneko to stand beside her.

Tauro swung one of his tambō, a gush of wind spiraling at Eiji's teammate, who braced his arms in front of himself to absorb it. He charged forward and slammed his knee into the Amegakure genin's forearms, but was vaulted backward. Landing from a backflip, Tauro smirked, "You've gotten slower, Juro." Tauro narrowly dodged his errant punch, landing a blow to Juro's back as he swept past him, "Have you gained weight? You're kind of a lumbering-" Juro's fist connected with his jaw, silencing his taunt for a moment.

"You never did know when to shut up," Juro spat.

Tauro laughed, rolling his neck until it cracked, "And you never did know when to stop eating."

Tauro ducked beneath his wild haymaker and grabbed him by his shoulders to slam Juro's chest into his knee. Pushing Juro upright, he smacked him across the face with his tambō once with each hand before turning around and grabbing him by his neck. The snapping noise that followed rung through his ears as he flipped Juro over his back and into the ground. Empty eyes staring up at him, Tauro nudged Juro's face with his foot, "Two down."

Lyoko seized Taika by her vest, throwing her out of the line of kunai aimed for her. Eyes widening when she saw the explosive tags on the handles, she opened her parasol and tried to shield them from the blast. She grimaced at the smell of burnt flesh, but pushed Taika behind a tree.

Clutching her right shoulder, Lyoko glanced at her hand to see blood coating her palm, "You need to run, Taika."

"But why?" Taika stared at the wound, "You guys need me here!"

Lyoko shook her head, "You have the scrolls. We can't risk losing them."

"How many are left?" Taika glanced around the tree, brow furrowing to hear Koneko's howls, "Please! I need to save-!"

Lyoko grabbed her chin and dragged her face back to hers, "Taika, listen to me. Your mission is to protect those scrolls."

Taika's eyes began to well up, "But what about you and Tauro?"

"We'll take care of these bastards." Lyoko smiled as best she could while standing, "Head back towards the river. We'll meet you there." Taika nodded her head and sprinted into the dense jungle, weaving between trees and over bushes. Stepping back into the clearing, Lyoko untied her ninja band from her thigh and fastened it around her forehead.

"Someone go after the other girl!"

The last of Eiji's teammates dashed past Lyoko, but she missed her mark with her kunai. When she went to follow, a bomb detonated in front of her. Coughing smoke, she stumbled backwards and faced the remaining Amegakure team.

"Your fight's with us."

Lyoko glanced at Tauro, ignoring the throbbing in her shoulder, "Won't make a difference."

Taking a sharp turn, Taika almost lost her footing, the leather thong of her sandal snapping. She took to the nearest tree and kicked her sandals off, but as she went to continue running, she sensed someone's chakra near. The footsteps were close, rushed, and he was armed. Figuring she could lose him in a dead sprint, she set off again on the ground, tearing through each clearing with more speed than the last. Her arms pumped wildly, her strides lengthening as she leapt over logs and roots, stumbling every so often as the soles of her feet were torn from small stones and twigs. She tried to ignore the aching as she pushed herself to reach the shoreline.

A smile began to stretch across her lips as she caught sight of the river. Slowing down, she breathed a sigh of relief while rifling through her backpack. Canteen in hand, she eagerly chugged river water. Stepping closer to refill it, she was suddenly suspended in the air, bag and canteen dropped. She coughed a few times, frantically twisting and turning when she realized she stepped in the monkshood trap Lyoko had set. Reaching into her holster, she drew a kunai and weakly tried to sit up, the poison numbing her legs as it seeped through the open cuts on her feet. She remembered Lyoko saying it took thirty minutes before death, though it wasn't as comforting a thought with her backpack on the ground below her.

Her vision dodged as she tried to hurtle herself upward, kunai missing the top of the net by inches. Falling back, she clawed at the tiny holes to pull her body into a better position. She swung again, barley cutting the thick rope. As another attempt further severed it, she heard laughter below her. Legs going numb up through her calves, she watched as the last member of Eiji's team rifled through her backpack, though wore a look of annoyance to see that the scrolls weren't in there.

"Smart bitch." He stared up at where she struggled to cut herself free, "Guess I'll just wait until you come down."

 _If only I had been more careful..._ She smiled to herself while closing her eyes as if content to let her body continue to go numb. In a last desperate effort, she threw the kunai through a narrow hole in the top of the net and severed the rope holding it up. Hitting the ground on her back, she groaned weakly while turning onto her stomach. With her backpack in her line of vision, she tried to army crawl her way over to it only to have that Amegakure genin step in front of her with his sword at his hip.

"Thanks for not keeping me waiting."

Closing her eyes, she braced herself for the moment his sword would run through her skull, distracted momentarily by her thighs and lower back tingling with numbness. Her eyes found a pair of orange leg warmers over a green suit, and she smiled wide enough to split her cheeks, "Lee-kun!"

"Is this guy bothering you, Taika-chan?" Lee glanced over his shoulder at her and flashed her a thumbs up and toothy smile before charging at the Amegakure boy.

Crawling through the sand, elbows digging into the ground to pull her deadweight legs along, she grabbed a hold of her backpack. She spilled its contents and frantically began looking for the tiny auto-injector Lyoko had given her. When she heard Lee shout, she lifted her head to see him land a roundhouse kick on the Ame genin's forearms to break his defense. Vision dodging again, she looked down at her scattered belongings to see the shiny silver applicator. She bit the top off and held out her left arm to jam the needle into her vein.

It felt like water rushing through her, cool and gentle. Wiggling a toe first, then flexing her calves, she pushed herself up to her knees. When she lifted her head to find the Ame genin, she gasped as Lee hurtled past her, smashing into the nearest tree. Leaning back onto her right forearm, she launched herself into a roundhouse kick as the Ame genin charged at her. His blade missed her leg as she smashed her shin into his temple, the extension of the kick lifting her off the ground. Her back faced the boy she knocked out as she wobblingly stood upright and smiled at Lee, who clutched his arm.

Taika plopped down beside him with a dramatic sigh, "Thank you, Lee-kun."

"Seems like you were just fine in the end," he laughed.

She held out the tiny applicator Lyoko had given her in front of him, "I'm kind of the idiot on my team…"

"Why do you say that?"

"I got myself caught in my teammate's poison trap because I wasn't paying attention." Taika tucked her knees to her chest and bowed her head, "I'm lucky I got down."

Lee titled his head to try to get her to look at him again, smiling when she glanced his way with a blush, "My sensei once told me that I'm a genius of hard work. Because I believed in myself, and I wanted to become a man my sensei would be proud of." He shifted a little closer to her, their shoulders brushing, "And so I can protect the people I care about."

Taika smiled, soon distracted by his bloody arm, "Do you want me to bandage that?"

Crawling over to the scattered contents of her backpack that were strewn on the sand, she grabbed her roll of bandages. She sat down in front of him and took his hand, extending his arm out so she could see the gash that broke open his green jumpsuit and the skin underneath from his elbow to half his forearm, but not deep enough to require stitching. As she wove the bindings and began tying them off, she heard rustling in the bushes. Turning around, she rolled to her left as a metal staff zipped by her ear and smashed into Lee's face.

Taika reached for her shuriken pouch, but relaxed at the sight of Tauro and Lyoko stumbling into the clearing. She grabbed a hold of Tauro's staff as he extended it again at Lee, "Wait! He saved me!"

Tauro lifted a brow, looking over the green spandex suit that Lee wore and recalling seeing him before the second exam, "Why did he do that…?"

"Observant as usual, Tauro." Lyoko pointed at the ground where her most recent Monkshood trap had been sprung and laid in a messy heap, "She set off my trap." Circling around to Lee, who held his nose with blood seeping between his fingers, she offered a small smile, "But I suppose I should thank you for rescuing my teammate."

"Mo probem," Lee muttered beneath his hand.

"If I recall correctly, you were the one hitting on Taika before the start of the second exam." Seeing Lee's face turn scarlet while Taika wrinkled her nose made Lyoko laugh. She spared them any further embarrassment while beginning to collect Taika's belongings and stuffing them into her backpack. Picking up the empty applicator lying in the dirt, Lyoko sighed, "I'll have to make another antidote…"

Tossing Taika her backpack while she cleaned up Lee's face, her ears twitched and keened to the sound of feet striking branches. Hand rested on her laitō hilt, Lyoko looked over her shoulder and up toward the boy who stood in the tree Lee leaned against, "Are you here for your teammate?" She slid her blade halfway out of its scabbard, "Or did you just want to see me?"

Neji grinned, his arms crossing over his chest, "I came to collect my wayward teammate." He glanced down at Lee with a shake of his head, "Did you figure you could take them on by yourself?"

"He saved me!" Taika bellowed, standing up with her hands clenched in fists.

"Ever the knight in shining armor…" Neji drawled as Lee rose to his feet with his head bowed.

Lyoko drew her laitō, the metal ringing as it slid from the bamboo umbrella shaft. She spun it around in her hand until she had a reverse grip. Watching his eyes slip down to her shoulder and then her right sleeve, she saw his brow knit at her bloodstained _furisode_ and skin.

"Let's go, Lee." Neji gestured with his chin, "TenTen is waiting for us."

As soon as Lee leapt into the trees, casting a wistful glance at Taika before sprinting off, Lyoko reeled on her teammate, "You have the scrolls?"

Taika reached into her shuriken pouch on her thigh, taking out the heaven and earth scroll, "Still safe." Glancing at Lyoko's bloody sleeve and the splatter across her collarbone, she mumbled, "You didn't have a choice?"

"We had to assure they wouldn't follow us," Lyoko replied.

"So…what about him?" Taika pointed at the unconscious Ame genin, who laid close to the water from how hard she had knocked him back.

Tauro glanced at Lyoko, who strolled past him to the boy lying in the sand. She knelt down and slid her blade through his ribcage, angled up to pierce the heart. The body hitched and the boy groaned before going silent. Tauro involuntarily shuttered, "We stopped having a choice when we entered this exam, Taika."

"I just didn't expect it to be like this…" Taika muttered.

"Tanak-sensei did her best to protect us." Lyoko gracefully stood and wipe her blade off with her bloody sleeve, "But we don't have her on this mission. So we have to assume anyone will try to kill us."

"But Lee didn't," Taika retorted.

Lyoko rolled her eyes, "He's _one_ Konoha genin. Besides, I don't trust his teammate and you know he contemplated attacking us."

"You have to wonder why he didn't," Tauro grumbled, hooking his staff back onto his belt. He smirked while casting a leering glance at Lyoko, "I think a _certain kunoichi_ might have influenced that."

"If you're insinuating that Neji held back because of an infatuation, please go drown yourself," Lyoko snapped, pointing at the river.

"I'm so glad you didn't stay nice for long."

Lyoko ignored him, turning to walk along the shore, "We need to get moving. There's only three days left." Parasol opened and resting on her shoulder, she kept at a steady pace up ahead, only glancing a few times to assure her teammates were following. Taika had her head lowered while her bottom lip trembled, "What's wrong, Taika?"

"Did…Did…?" She sniffled, stopping their march up the river while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "If he's not with you guys…then he must have…"

Lyoko couldn't resist a sneaky grin. Hopping on a broken tree across their path, she glanced over her shoulder at Taika, "Don't be pessimistic. It doesn't suit you."

Taika lifted her head, squealing as Koneko lumbered over the tree with a toothy yawn. Sprinting past Lyoko, she threw her arms around the tiger's neck and nuzzled her head in his fur, "I'm so glad you're safe!"

"I think she cares more about the tiger than us…" Tauro grumbled.

Lyoko couldn't help smiling to see her teammate nuzzling her face into the tiger's cheek, cooing affectionate words, "Koneko was quite helpful fending off that last Amegakure team."

"And you guys were worried about me keeping him," Taika replied, sticking her tongue out at them.

"Well, he's proven he's not going to eat us," Tauro mumbled.

Lyoko laughed, "That counts for something."

"Come on!" Taika swung herself onto Koneko's back, "It's a race to the tower from here!"

Lyoko closed her parasol mid stride, racing after the giant tiger carrying her teammate. They were inches away from completing the second exam, and Lyoko found her heart fluttering at the prospect of being named a chūnin. She'd be even more responsible for her teammates, and maybe even an entirely different squad! Carrying missions across the shinobi villages, protecting patrons from bandits, engaging in espionage in foreign lands. Tanak-sensei would be so proud. Her mother would sew her a new kimono, her father would forge her another laitō blade, and her grandfather would carve her wooden parasol painted by her grandmother. She'd be the pride of her clan!

And maybe…just maybe…that meant she could choose her own shinobi path.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: There's Darkness Beneath the Lamppost**

She kept her eyes down, focused on the _himitsu-bako_ between her hands where she shifted the wooden panels meticulously in an effort to open the box. She had bought it to help pass her time in Konoha while her team was occupied in the exam. But judging by how long it was taking her, she was well out of practice. She used to complete one every mission, partially as a tactic to subtly draw attention to herself. Glancing up from her puzzle box, she caught a few Konoha shinobi looking her way. With a wink, she sent them back to their conversations and sake cups with a blush in their cheeks.

Turning her eyes back down to her puzzle, a grin stretched across her lips as his footsteps came closer. Heavy as usual, she suspected he hadn't done much for his lumbering stride, though not that it mattered since he was the commanding officer of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Force. She could only imagine how many traitors and criminals he struck fear into with just his walking into a room. Even some of the Konoha shinobi seated in the bar turned away.

"You haven't changed one bit, Tanak."

She flashed a toothy smile, sliding out of her seat to offer a hug for a greeting, "Ibiki, you son of a bitch. Those scars have made you all the more handsome."

"Your charm has hardly worn off." Ibiki nearly crushed her in his embrace, laughing as she wobbled back into the booth, "What's brought you back to Konoha? I'm surprised you didn't get arrested the moment you walked through the gates."

Tanak tugged her ninja band off her waist and tossed it onto the table, "I'm a sensei in Amegakure now."

"No shit, huh?" Ibiki examined the four vertical lines etched into the metal plate, "Which three were your brats?"

"A purple haired beauty, an anxiety prone redhead, and a vain blonde."

"Your little redhead fainted after the first exam."

"Somehow I'm not surprised."

Ibiki chuckled, "Where the hell have you been these past seven years? You disappeared one night and next thing I know, rumors are going around that you're not in the Bingo books but Kakashi went after you."

"To no avail…" Tanak drummed her fingers on the table after setting her puzzle box down, "It's honestly a long story, Ibiki, and I just don't see how we'd have time to cover it all."

"My part of the Chūnin Exam is over. So…" He gestured for a waitress, asking for a bottle of sake to split between them, "…I've got time."

Tanak smirked, "I feel bad we're leaving Hayate out of it."

"He won't take it personally."

The waitress returned with a thin, curved bottle and two ceramic cups, smiling as Ibiki paid her with the instruction to 'keep the change'.

Pouring herself and Ibiki a drink, Tanak raised it in a toast before slinging it down in one gulp. Fire stirred in her belly and she held back a grimace at the dry, full taste of the _Daiginjo-shu_ , "How about you ask me questions, since interrogation is your specialty, and I'll answer as I see fit."

Ibiki refilled her cup with a laugh, more than willing to take her up on that, "How did you get citizenship in Amegakure? I didn't think they were a stable country."

"You align yourself with the right people and don't cause trouble, that's how."

"The right people?"

"The Saito Clan is very powerful and influential. Their youngest daughter became one of my students."

"How long have you been a sensei?"

"Let's see…" Tanak pretended to be deep in thought, "It's been four years since I got to Amegakure. I've had my team two of those years."

"So what were you doing those other two years…?"

 _Lots of things, but those are my best kept secrets._ "I was traveling," she replied matter-of-factly before slinging back another cup of sake.

"Who's buying that story?"

Tanak rolled her eyes, "Is it really that hard to believe that I was just taking time for myself? _Alone_."

"Yes."

"I spent three years in a relationship. I think I earned it."

"Your refusal to tell anyone what you were doing is going to make it hard to still keep you out of the Bingo books."

She wrinkled her nose, "Obviously I wasn't doing anything that threatened Konoha."

"That's to be determined…" Ibiki rested his elbows on the table, "Why did you leave?"

Tanak bit at the insides of her mouth. She expected to hear that from everyone, and she had mulled over a good answer for a week. Shaking her head, she stared off to her right, "I left to run away from my problems."

He seemed to find that a sufficient answer, sipping from his cup, "How much of that had to do with Kakashi?"

She began to see that her relationship was common knowledge amongst Konoha's shinobi. Taking a long drink from her sake, she couldn't decide if the sourness in her stomach was from thinking of Kakashi or how fast she was drinking, "Every bit…"

"Meaning?"

"It's his fault I fell for him." A sad smile crossed her lips as she shook her head, "I could live believing he hates me."

Ibiki leaned back in his seat, "He tried for a few years to convince himself he could kill you." Tanak glanced at him with a furrowed brow as he continued, "If the Hokage asked him to…"

"You mentioned I'm not listed in the Bingo books." Tanak refilled her cup, "I thought I'd end up as a _nukenin_ the moment I decided to leave."

Ibiki seemed happy she asked, "Kakashi begged the Hokage not to."

She felt like she had been slapped. Her eyes widened and she nearly knocked over her sake cup as she fumbled to lean back against the booth. The wood felt cool through her _hanten_ , but not enough to calm a hundred raging thoughts, "Why would he do that?"

"Come on, Tanak." Ibiki shook his head with an irritated sigh, "He loved you, that's why."

"Then why didn't he defend me at my trial!" Tanak covered her mouth, face beaming red at the number of people that turned at her outburst. Shaking her head, she steeled her eyes on Ibiki's while hissing, "He just _stood_ there while the Hokage made a criminal of me, while our teammates condemned me. If he loved me, he should have fought for me."

Ibiki drained his cup with a tilt of his head, "What you did in Kusagakure should have gotten you exiled."

"I protected my mission and my teammates."

"You wiped out a small village."

"To prevent us from being compromised."

"At the cost of a hundred lives."

"I'm one ninja, I didn't kill a hundred people."

Ibiki glared at her, "All accounts spoke of two white dragons circling the moon…"

"Most don't live when they're summoned."

"You went in with the intent to kill anyone that posed a threat to your ANBU squad."

She lifted her chin, "You can criticize me all you want, but I made a decision that ensured the safety of my team and the success of my mission."

"You're lucky Kusagakure wasn't strong enough to retaliate."

"I've been lucky several times in my life." Tanak filled his cup, weighing the bottle, half empty already, "How else would I still be alive?"

"I think that has more to do with a certain skillset you flaunt," Ibiki scoffed.

"Is that jealousy in your voice?" Tanak stretched her arms above her head, her fishnet shirt rising up beneath her breasts. Resting her elbows on the table, she let her shoulders slacken so her _hanten_ slid down to her forearms, "We would have never worked."

He rolled his eyes, "Sometimes I forget you're a respectable shinobi..."

Tanak wrinkled her nose while pulling her _hanten_ back on, "My line of work isn't for the softhearted."

"The hell made you choose to be…" He mulled over the right word, not trying to insult her, "…an _oiran_?"

She smiled at his use of a more formal term, taking a moment to glance around the room to confirm her suspicion that her oglers from earlier still looked her way, "I've always been vain, Ibiki. It was thrilling to be admired and doted upon by several men." A chill rolled down her spine as she recalled her first mission. Iwagakure at the height of the Third Shinobi War, "It was an art so few utilized and I mastered it."

"Then why get involved with Kakashi?"

"Why do you care?"

"I'm trying to make sense of you for once, Tanak."

"It sounds more like you're prying for Kakashi."

Ibiki finished off another cup of sake and refilled it, "Just answer the question."

"You're not impressing me with your interrogation techniques." Catching his unamused glare, she rested her chin in her palm and stared at a couple in the corner cuddled up together, "We were in too deep from the start. You try getting out of something that started when you were six."

"I'm hardly convinced that at six years old the two of you were already heading down a destructive path." He pushed his sake cup aside with disinterest, "I think that was just a result of your attitude when you both served in ANBU."

"And that excuses Kakashi's behavior?"

"I didn't say that."

"Why does it keep sounding like everything is my fault?"

"You're the one who ran off!" She glowered at him, but he just rolled his eyes, "That's a guilty response."

"I lost my value."

"You're the only one who sees it that way-"

"How would you feel if you were demoted for a second time? Put on probation? Confined to the village?" She seethed, "I had nothing left in Konoha."

"So defecting to another country was your way of saving face?" He scoffed at that, "Poor excuse for running, Tanak."

"I don't need your approval."

"And you don't regret any of it?" He had a hard time comprehending that, "Just leaving after convincing him it was love?"

Tanak's eyes darkened, "I wouldn't be a very good courtesan if I couldn't lie about my emotions."

"That's cold. Even for you."

"I'm not going to keep chaining myself down because of a past infatuation."

"Infatuation? I remember you chasing after him when we were genin!"

"And it wasn't until we were in the same ANBU squad that things got out of control." She circled her finger around the rim of her sake cup in an attempt to keep her temper distracted, "If you're looking for a confession of my feelings, you won't get that."

Ibiki shook his head, filling her sake cup while pursing his lips. She waited anxiously to get a glimpse of his temper, "You just don't want to admit that you loved him and you really haven't let him go."

"I hardly believe Kakashi has spent all these years without feminine comfort-"

"Would you have done the same?" He leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, fixing a glare on her that made her fidget, "Let's be honest here, Tanak, you've been flaunting your reputation for years. That's the only reason anyone knew you were alive."

"But no one ever found me."

"It wasn't for lack of effort from ANBU."

"And yet I remained only a name on desperate men's lips, nothing more than an apparition of their desires." Tanak finished her sake cup, her cheeks flushing pink from the heat rising through her chest, "I'm a different woman to many men. That's why Kakashi failed to find me."

"Maybe he didn't want to find you? Maybe finding you meant he had to kill you?" She kept her eyes on her cup as he continued, "The guy's lost enough in his life, and maybe having to kill the woman he loved would have been worse than knowing you were never just his."

Tanak sat silently, blaming the alcohol on the tears pushing at the corners of her eyes. She didn't have the energy to up and leave, to run away. If this was a version of his interrogation techniques, then she had easily fallen into it. ..

 _Her eyes scanned the room as the doors opened. What felt like hundreds of anxious glances stared her down as she moved toward the Hokage's desk. With people lining her right and left, the walk seemed to take forever. Her head craned as she glared at the ten members from Kakashi's ANBU Squad, the men and women she served beside. They all tried to avoid her bitter gaze, afraid she could kill them with one daggered glance._

 _She looked forward to discerning who the snitches were…and coming up with a creative end for them. Judging by the ones who turned away to look at their feet or at each other…The list was long. Maybe running earlier wasn't such a bad idea after all?_

 _Standing tall, shoulders pulled back, chin tilted just high enough to give the impression she looked down on everyone, she let the words roll off her tongue. But it sounded more like a hiss, "What are the charges?"_

 _The murmuring started, and she keened her ears to pick up traces of astonished whispers._

 _But it fizzled out as The Sandaime Hokage cleared his throat, "An investigation has been performed regarding your assignment in Kusagakure. We received a missive from Kusa describing a massacre in a small settlement on the outskirts of the village." He waited to see if she'd interrupt him, but she was too busy keeping her temper at bay, "Kusa is suspicious of us and Iwa."_

 _Her eyes turned sidelong on her team, her lips pursing to a scowl. And still, none of them would meet her glare. Sighing impatiently, as if the ordeal just wasted her time, she cocked her eyebrows at Hiruzen, feigning surprise._

" _It has been cited by Team Ro that your success in missions is owed to your ruthlessness. You don't carry an emotional burden because you've iced over everything in your heart." Hiruzen paused, almost hoping he had hit a chord with her to provoke a reaction. But that coldness in her eyes remained, "You insisted on staying behind. A heroic action to some, but suspicious to most…" She allowed a smirk to cross rose stained lips, "…and ultimately a misplaced trust by your captain."_

 _Breathing deeply to steady her erratic heartbeat at the mention of him, she glanced over her shoulder and caught him turning his eyes away, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned on the wall. Hidden in the corner, denying he had anything to do with her court martial._ Fucking coward _. It took everything inside her to ease her temper, to just keep it burning behind her eyes._ I won't forget this _._

" _Furthermore, multiple accounts detail two white dragons,_ your _summoning, Watatsumi and Otohime, circling the moon-"_

 _Her voice steeled as she caught her team's nervous, fleeting glances, "Most don't live when they're summoned…"_

 _They all froze for a moment before shuttering away to find comfort in each other, in their decision to condemn her. All except one. Uchiha Itachi just watched her with what she probably mistook for compassion._

" _Do you accept the charges of intentionally killing civilians and employing brutality?"_

 _One more look at Kakashi set her blood boiling. Fuming at his refusal to meet her eyes, she clenched her hands into fists. She breathed harder. Glaring at Hiruzen, she spat, "I assured the safety of my team and the success of our mission."_

" _At the cost of innocent lives-"_

" _No one is innocent during missions."_

 _Hiruzen folded his hands and pressed his lips to his thumbs. She anxiously waited to hear his rebuttal. How could he deny she was right? He had to doubt himself, even if just for a moment._

 _Her skin felt hot and clammy, fire rising up her neck, stinging through her veins. Her fingers twitched above the shuriken holsters on her thighs._

" _The body count is upwards near a hundred." Her brows knitted and her arms slackened by her sides as he continued after releasing a tense breath, "You had to summon your dragons or else you would not have succeeded-" She scoffed loudly, tempted to laugh, but he narrowed his eyes on her, "Even_ you _are not that strong."_

" _I'm strong enough that people fear me."_

" _You went in with the intent to murder-"_

" _When is a shinobi not supposed to?!"_

 _Her voice rose to echo off the walls, her hands clenching into fists. One foot staggered forward, but she kept herself from making any other threatening gesture. Appalled expressions danced across her teammates' faces, dropped jaws hung from Konoha officials' mouths. Scolding herself for losing her temper, she closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. The silence felt comfortable, long enough to let her resume her haughty demeanor. Her blue eyes found Hiruzen's face that looked tired and worn from the emotional toll his investigation had caused. She wanted to pity him, but couldn't find it in herself._

" _Hokage-sama, if I may…" Her teammate, Mitsuru, stepped forward, his voice wavering, "Th-This… is m-my fault." He ignored murmured instructions to just 'shut up' while trying to avoid staring at his feet, "If Tanak-senpai hadn't chosen to stay behind, our mission would have been compromised. So maybe her methods were controversial, but we might all be dead if she hadn't acted! So please reconsider-"_

 _Another of her teammates stepped forward, pushing Mitsuru aside, "As ANBU we are meant to move about unseen! Her actions have brought an alert to all the countries!"_

" _What would you have done?!"_

" _Anything that didn't involve murder!"_

" _You're not thinking straight, Mitsuru! You don't even know if those villagers planned to tell Kusagakure!"_

" _Lay off, Kyo, she saved our asses."_

" _She's out of control and too dangerous to keep in ANBU."_

 _Tanak kept her eyes closed as the voices condemning her rose higher. Her ears stung, reverberating with the same word over and over._ Murderer _. When did she stop caring? When did it become easy?_

" _That's enough!" Hiruzen bellowed._

 _Blinking a few times, she watched The Sandaime ease himself back into his chair, "You sentence is as follows…" He cleared his throat, stalling as long as he could before reading, "You are hereby removed from ANBU, confined to the village under surveillance, subjected to weekly reviews, and placed in behavioral therapy until it is determined that you can comply with Konoha's regulations. Should your conduct improve, and empathy be restored in you, you may resume missions under supervision."_

 _She had waited for it the entire time, his voice breeching the void he'd placed between them. Hating herself for even bothering, she half turned to find his eyes moving to meet hers. But he just shook his head. Nothing. Nothing but disappointment on his face as he saw her begin to tremble. Grabbing for the mask on her belt, she tore it off and slammed it into the ground. Porcelain shattered across the wooden floorboards, the sound startling the Sandaime –_

"Tanak." Ibiki reached across the table, tapping her hand to pull her back, "It's not too late to fix things."

"You don't get it, do you?" She shoved his hand aside, snarling, "He betrayed me."

"And what have you done?"

"This isn't about simple apologies."

"You're just making things worse by bottling it all up."

"I've been doing it for years!" Shooting to her feet, she saw that most of the restaurant stared at her. She flipped them the middle finger before turning any icy glare to Ibiki, "He knew it was over. He said it himself!"

He rolled his eyes, "He didn't want to get hurt again."

"How the fuck would you know?"

"You two weren't exactly keeping your personal life a secret…"

She finally sat back down, crossing her arms over her chest, "It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing is going to change between us."

"Is that because you don't want it to?"

Her glare would have frightened anyone else, but Ibiki practically grew up seeing it. And his cheeky grin nearly set off her temper like he always used to, "There's no going back. I said things that day that don't just go away…"

Ibiki contemplated his sake cup, "Stop making excuses for yourself. If he rejects you, then you got what you wanted when you left." She opened her mouth to argue, silenced as he held up a finger, "But somewhere in your cold heart you were hoping he would be here waiting for you."

Tanak stared at her _himitsu-bako_ on the table, picking it up and shifting around the blocks to distract herself from confessing. She wasn't ready to be emotional, despite the tugging in her chest, "I'm not as heartless as I look."

"Prove me wrong then." He grinned when she stuck her tongue out at him, "You're back in Konoha and you've got plenty of time to mend things."

"I'll think about it." She stumbled to her feet as Ibiki stood, wrapping him in as tight a hug as he greeted her with, "Thank you."

"Anytime." He patted her on the shoulder while turning to leave the bar.

Alone again, Tanak collapsed into her seat. She furiously shifted the squares on her puzzle box. Giving up as she completely undid her earlier progress, she buried her face in her hands with a sigh. Part of her wanted to go find Kakashi, but the other part would have been just fine drowning in another sake bottle.

The fire in her stomach began twisting violently, and she let out a tiny whimper. Hands covering her mouth, her vision reeled and a wave of nausea swept over her. She gagged, eyes watering again. A cold sweat formed around her forehead, an involuntary shutter rippling down her spine. Slouching against the back of the booth, she swallowed as her throat began to tighten. Her breath reduced to gasps. She clawed at her shirt, suffocated by its tightness. Tripping from the booth, she wiped away sweat trickling down her brow as she wobbled out of the restaurant.

The outside air brought no comfort. It felt as muggy as the bar. Struggling out of her _hanten,_ she damn near ripped her clothes to cool her skin before it melted off. Falling over herself, she crashed against a fruit stand, knocking over several strawberry baskets. Apologizing profusely to the angry woman, she teetered to her right then left. She cried out as the muscles in her neck constricted, jerking her head backwards. Yelling mixed with concerned murmuring rattled her skull. Her hand instinctively clutched at the skin between her neck and shoulder.

 _It can't be happening now._ She shoved aside the people crowding, starting into a weak run down the street. Her feet carried her left and right, a weaving path that nearly sent her tumbling into passersby. Mumbling something close to coherent, she shook her head several times to clear her vision. She stumbled further down the road, thankful that less and less people were around as she came to the small house she stayed in. Her stomach roiled while she slowly ascended the stairs to the front door. But as soon as she touched the sliding screen, she spun around and vomited.

Coughing between the sake slews spewing from her lips, her eyes clouded with tears. She pulled herself upright and forced herself inside. Two steps and she collapsed onto the floor, half laughing to ignore the feeling of someone splitting her skull. On hands and knees, she crawled across the _tatami_ mats until she reached the bathroom. The tile felt welcoming beneath her as she laid down, eyes fluttering closed.

Four years…Four years without incident. The fuck was going on?


End file.
